Tag Archives: yaoi

When People Fear Sexual Expression

Or Gay Porn and Other Delicacies Part II: Was going to be ‘What I Like’ but the pictures I want to insert are pretty embarrassing to look for in a public library.

I’m at a new school. My computer may have been utterly destroyed with all my writing and pictures and music, et cetera, gone for the most part. But my itch to write has gone to shingles level, so here I am, trying to pinch out a blog post in one or two hour spurts. I put out that one before- about Blurred Lines? But that was a ‘Moment of Inspiration’.

Miley-CyrusSo you’ve heard about Miley Cyrus, of course. At the time my sister was watching the VMAs, and I had been there in the living room most of the day studying for German, which I hadn’t taken for more than a year and have now jumped into its intermediate class.

When Miley came on, my sister and I agreed that her hair looked stupid and nothing about her was really appealing. Her song was okay, her part of “Blurred Lines” was horrendous (though I might be biased because I fuckin’ love that song, besides the non-consensual connotation that I keep hearing about). My sister (and the other family members that joined us) were so shocked that the Disney star was dancing like that.

And I couldn’t help but think… Isn’t she, like, twenty? Matter-of-fact, she was the aforementioned sister’s age. And my sister has a two-year-old daughter. You don’t think Miley, like the rest of us humans, grows up beyond canned laughter and the tried and true best-friends-fight episodes, that-boy-isn’t-all-he’s-cracked-up-to-be episodes, the friggin’ surprise-birthday-goes-wrong-but-it’s-all-about-love episodes? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch such episodes of a show I really like (Supernatural or Spongebob, for example), but I know what they are, and I know what’s beyond.

My, what if she stayed like Taylor Swift. I’ve never listened to an artist so glued on monotony (wait, Maroon Five… But they are, like, a band… And Levine has some curve to his voice sometimes).

Anyway, I don’t mind it. I don’t listen to any of her songs, but, I’m good, and it’s just tiresome to hear the craziness that can follow.

I recently had a conversation with my new friends about Miley Cyrus, and one of the ladies there said that Miley ‘doesn’t have to be sexually provocative to be popular’ (Swift, a case in point- and notice how I call Miley by her first name… but not Taylor Swift? Hm.)

‘You don’t have to be slutty’

‘You don’t have to act like a whore and grind’

AkkpP

Yea… But what if you freakin’ want to?! Do people who say this, and there are soooooooooooooooo many who do…. so many… Do people who say this think that all people who act sexually for money don’t actually LIKE doing it? That perhaps, hey, it’s fun. I can wear less clothes and it’ll feel freeing and controlling and get a whole lot of attention? And I would like to be freeing and controlling and get attention by being sexually expressive? No, I don’t want to write a damn book and I don’t want to feed all of Libya. I want to strut what little I got and have fun?

Now, I wouldn’t do that, mainly because it seems tiring and I don’t have the complexion for it. And I like writing and translating a lot more.

Which brings me to the gay.

Channin'

I guess this isn’t gay, per se, but the number of conceptions you build upon seeing this image (WHORE- MANWHORE- GAAAAAAAAY- OBJECTIFICATION- *scream*) is one of the many ways we express our limits of sexual expression.

There’s a sort of subtlety, but not really, when we come across something like Channing Tatum backin’ that ass up, and some guy screams out, “That’s fucking gross! I don’t wanna see that.” Or, the many times my mom and other women would see a female strutting some which way and would just be completely grossed out and say terrible things like ‘slut’ or some such.

Of course, if you give them the stink eye, they’ll scream about their heterosexuality, but I’ve come to realize, to actually be able to voice my dilemma about such a defense. It had come as a super confusing intuition before, but then I actually realized:

Being straight doesn’t mean hating the same sex.

And it definitely doesn’t mean you hate the same sex whenever they are being sexual. Straightness’ only connotation to me is: you enjoy the opposite sex, probably within the parameters of the sex’s stereotype. (Females are smaller, softer, cuter. Men are bigger, muscular, handsome. Whatever.)

On the flip side, many people have wondered why I enjoy homosexual men so much. Many could understand my affinity for lesbians because 1) most who have asked me are men and 2) someone like me who also likes women would probably like to see lesbians/lesbian sex.

Again, intuition reigned supreme, and I couldn’t relinquish a straight answer. Most of the time, it wasn’t a question I found interesting and needed answering, but now I do:

Gay men have better sex, especially in yaoi.

Now, I’m not saying overall. What I mean is, the only lesbian fiction I’ve had the pleasure to read were- minus a few gems- porn for men, which gets real old, real fast. Or it was too much on the romanticism. I love romance, I do. By itself, no. I don’t like much by itself. (And neither do you, I think.). I can’t, like I said in Gay Porn and Other Delicacies, even take a lot of romance in gay fiction- like Maurice. Romance (and sex etc.) must be twisted upon by something else.

Wolfin'And whatever medium – book , film, tv- can have gratuitous amounts of sex and blood, but as long as something else is there, I can manage it. Fortunately for me, the kink genre in gay erotica has just that extra pizzazz for me to sit down and enjoy, even though sometimes it can hold back and I doze off.

And most yaoi I’ve read- whether it’s Alcide/Elric crazy kinky vampire-werewolf fanfiction or a saga about a pair of detectives, have much more of that extra than I can ever hope for. And as an extensive, intensive reader, I feel entitled to a bit of spice every now and again and, if I want, in every fucking cake I eat.

Really, I feel, just, indignant when anyone wonders why or even hints at “You read/watch that stuff?” and I’m like, well, what do you do in your spare time? Because if you aren’t reading yaself a book, teaching yourself a language, practicing an instrument, writing short stories of any any nature, crocheting a blanket- you know, such things that I do nearly every day, don’t talk.

The thing about sexual expression is that it takes over.

False! But, really, yea, that’s pretty much true. There doesn’t seem to be any existence to a person whenever they sexually express themselves, unless it doesn’t matter in that fashion to a certain person in the first place. When people think about yaoi, for example, gay porn is the only thing they’re left with (this process of ‘minimization’ occurs elsewhere as well- you know, like, when people complain about a movie and say it’s a ‘boy-meets-girl’ story, while completely ignoring the fact that the guy is a zombie in a near post-apocalyptic zombie-infested world and the girl is the daughter of ArmyDadDeluxe, and that an extreme form of zombie was posing a risk to them all. By the way, that’s what I heard from someone about the movie Warm Bodies. And I was like… Really? That’s what you got from that?)

Sex is a compliment to life, and while having sex around others not involved is frowned upon, sexual expression doesn’t come close to it. There’s no need to fear it, whether from your preferred sex or not.

Emmaing

Over time, my tastes have broadened to an extremely zesty horizon that many would not touch, and it’s come to my attention that I can’t relate at all.

I actually cannot really… I don’t think ‘understand’ is the right word- I get it. But whatever the wavelength of empathy I cannot seem to connect to is, I can’t do it with people who are 100% gay or straight. I have come to ‘understand’ those orientations as simple preferences, like how I will not go out with someone who is religious or has bad breath.

I would just like that other people who can realize preferences as real, they can realize preferences for sexual expression are real as well, and it may not be anything as provocative as say….

I’m dressing like this because I want the D.

But simply, I look fucking hot in this and if you don’t like it, don’t look.

Which brings me back to the gay.

It’s hot, beyond the the reasons I mentioned before, the dichotomy between two swell-looking guys, or  cool-seeming guys, is pretty hot, and is often not seen in heterosexual fiction (No, I don’t think it exists…), and lesbian fiction I’ve come across hasn’t been beyond what I’ve seen (although I’m trying). Add in kink and supernatural and we got just crazy things to look forward to.

Samming

 

Oh, don’t tease me.

Gay Porn and other Delicacies Part One: A History

If you know me well, you would know that I find homosexual acts very objectifyingly satisfying. If this offends you in any way….

A IDGAF
You saw the title! Whatcha click for?

As I was saying, from a young age, I’ve enjoyed homosexual acts. As I’ve edited this post, I realized not only did/do I enjoy homosexual acts between men, it’s the same for women (and really, any consensual acts between attractive humans is pretty much okay).

In 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade- all three?- we had a porn video. We called it the ‘blank tape’ because, as you might’ve guessed, it was blank. I don’t remember who put it in the VCR first. Perhaps we all did before we all came together and realized that everyone else knew that the tape was nudie. Ma and Pa told us not to watch it, the youngest (Lil Sis and Lil Bro- both #2) would put it in the VCR all the time and laugh and giggle and do things that little kids do when they are being little assholes who do things they know they’re not supposed to do, yadda yadda yadda, and found a little interest in it.

One time, I watched it from the beginning to end. Under the pretense of sickness, I skimped out on Bible study to get the damn thing all to myself without worry of someone coming out of a room to catch me- though I’m sure someone had it in their mind that I would look at it.

It was made up of about five or six scenes, and the second scene- about 32 minutes in, maybe- was a lesbian scene. I didn’t know what things like aroused and turned on or horny meant, but I recognize now that the lesbian scene was indeed arousing.

But I skipped it. I was a God-fearing ten-or-so-year-old and I was already being terrible enough. Plus, I thought that the heterosexual couples were- don’t laugh- were, you know, together. Husband and wives and stuff.

stupid me

And I watched the rest, always with the lesbian scene in the back of my mind. I don’t know exactly what happened afterwards, but I believe Ma or Pa called home saying they went out to eat something and so, though I had planned to stop completely when I had satisfied my curiosity, I decided to watch the lesbian scene completely. I turned it up a little and it turned out to be a ‘mother’/’daughter’ thing. The ‘mother’ apparently cheated on the ‘daughter’ and the ‘daughter’ decided to punish her… by having sex with her… Or something.

You don’t care about ‘plot’ in porn and neither did I. Somewhat. I always enjoyed the scene more when I could hear it, even putting in earphones.

Around the same time, my aunt had an anime magazine. It had a review on the BL/yaoi/shounen ai/gay-romance-intended-for-a-female-audience Original Video Animation called “Fake”.

First BL

I most definitely was watching “Fake” on the DVD player around the same time as I would sneak the blank tape in the dying VCR. And it was only until the VCR died and all our VHS tapes disappeared that I started gay male romance hunting in earnest.

Let’s back up. There was only a very tiny anime picture for “Fake” in the magazine. My aunt had bookmarked it and, her being my favorite aunt then and now, I was completely interested in what had her smiling every time she looked at it.

The two characters you see had their faces close together and all, and at the time I had no fucking idea which was the girl and which was the boy (that’s heterosexual privilege by the way-you see people making lovey-dovey eyes and you start putting them in gender constructs!). I guessed the light-haired guy on the bottom was the girl, because, ya’ know, he was light-haired and on bottom.

But I went back to the article, because I tend to get batshit-obsessed with things until I completely figure them out. My aunt caught me and got pissed and so I was scared away for about a month.

And then the “Fake” DVD appeared in our house, held among my aunt’s possessions. I tried to watch it through my parents’ room; their door had windows in them so that I could see into that entertainment room in which my aunt would watch “Fake” alone. But she caught me and covered up the windows.

One day, while she was watching it, I actually read the review article on “Fake” by Sanami Matoh in the comfort of her room. I remember the way they wrote it came off to me in big neon lights as GAY PORN!!!!!! I was sure it was going to be just as raunchy as the lesbian scene. Later, aunt went out drinking or something and the family went to Bible study and I, legit, had to practice my trombone for a chair test coming up (a chair test that started me in the first three chairs for the rest of my middle school career, as I would never, ever be among the last again). 

I watched all of “Fake”. I think there were two kissing scenes and dark-haired dude trying to undress light-haired dude. Overall, though I did like the ghost-and-murder plot and all, the GAY PORN!!!!!!! bit was quite lacking. Didn’t stop me from watching it at every opportunity, though. 

Of course, I still believed in god and all that…

Sexy Zechs-yStep back. My aunt also read fanfiction. She gave me a Dragon Ball Z fanfic with Bulma and Vegeta and told me to skip the ‘nasty’ parts. Of course, I read them. (Mama also gave me romance novels, where I realized that adult writing can be just as simple as what I read at school, and that the middle part of any piece of erotic writing is probably a sex scene).

And after/around that time (March 2000) the anime series Gundam Wing appeared on Cartoon Network. Gundam Wing had five main guys and was a catalyst not only for more serious anime to appear in America on a more regular basis (and not just Pokemon and Yugioh type shits to cater to children and their fetish for toys), but also for gay fanfiction. There were also two other main guys. Turkey Blondie up there and his best friend… lover… enemy… Very complicated have-to-watch-the-show-to-understand thing. They were my favorite couple to read.

Putting the pieces together, I started to look for gay erotic fanfiction because heterosexual fanfiction was either 1) Romance lovey-dovey same shit over and over utter crap 2) Straight-out porn. I mean, a lot of fanfiction- most of fanfiction is pretty much porn. But I’m talking about that porn porn. For example, you can’t really put A Rake’s Vow by Stephanie Laurens in the same category as Real Female Orgasms 13, as there’s something infinitely more pornographic about something about orgasms and a harlequin for which many can’t wait until the heroine and her lover bump uglies. Another post entirely. 

And that’s when I found yaoi (or, as I like to call it, BL, so I could encompass shounen-ai). The main distinction between the two is that yaoi is a lot more pornographic than shounen-ai, usually. Yaoi is an acronym for it, really. While shounen-ai translates to boys’ love, and is more about, you guessed it, love between males. Of course, all of this is targeted towards females, because Japanese females like that stuff- and so do a lot of other females, of course. That is to say, it’s not at all representative of gay men in reality. although some, like heterosexual fiction, may hit close to home to many.

BL is short for boys’ love but has gotten distinct from shounen-ai as that it usually includes yaoi nowadays.

HomosinYou might have figured out that I might have had a little trouble reconciling my penchant for gay porn (when I started watching porn, my interest could only stay on lesbian porn. Gay male porn was just soooo… Quiet… And hard to find when I was so young!) with my Christian beliefs and over and over I would pray to stop finding any pleasure in it, or promising the lord that I’ll never look at it again. I had a few crazy things happen when my parents saw or read what I read- back when they thought homosexuality caused AIDS and that the ‘lifestyle’ including unlimited sex and drugs and hell-bentness.

My mind had shut down and I was just so angry and depressed- over gay porn really! I couldn’t find interest in anything except books, but then I would get sexually aroused and nothing really eased that unless I read some yaoi.

I went back to it (duh) and eventually gave up god and have been doing my own thing ever since.

I wrote fanfiction, and now I work mainly on original stuff. But my desire for different, alternative sexualities and genders and sex(es) has me writing about male-leaning hermaphrodites in a fantasy slave society. I also identify with the kink scene and wish for deeper submission within myself and within such a society. I actually started with the rough stuff around middle school. Unfortunately, that was also a time where I got more selective with what gay porn I was reading (or what lesbian porn I was watching). I particularly remember several things that I perused oftener than anything else, or before trying out something new:

  • Velvet by Kumiko– A fanfiction between the main male adult characters in “Gundam Wing”, and one other of the main five. Basically, Turkey Blonde takes in Ginger, an ex-lawyer who was kidnapped and put into a whole slave ring sort of deal. Turkey Blondie is the master of the house and demands obedience. Chinese main guy is already his very obedient slave. Well, drama and kink ensue and it’s terribly wonderful and very much the fanfic that set me spiraling into BDSM. I lost it around 2003 and didn’t find it again until, I think, 2010. And I was ecstatic.
  • A Little Wager by Casual Otaku– Another fanfic. The main couple rivals of the video game series King of Fighters. I was actually going to skip it because it seemed super weebo with the terrible bits of Japanese thrown in so often and the fall-quickly-in-love trope. But with the author’s little tidbits, I had a feeling the person knew exactly what they were doing. So I kept on. Basically, one guy loses to another guy in a bet and has to do everything he says (haha, so original). Of course, the winner makes him his slave and then things get really heated and further into BDSM I go.
  • Kneel by bastmoon– …Fanfic! Hahaha! Between the co-protagonist and lead antagonist of anime “Fushigi Yuugi”. Pro gets taken prisoner by Anta. I could tell I was into some rough stuff because I didn’t follow “Fushigi Yuugi” at all. My aunt had one video which I watched the bloopers of over and over. However, I became super attached to this bit o’ porn.
  • Starts With a Spin by maxine– A Harry Potter, Draco/Harry fanfic that I’mma add just to show that I’m not only a sadist/masochist. I’ve read this four times!

You might be wondering…

Why though

 

When I was in 9th grade, my parents told me I would grow out of anime and video games, for various reasons, and that I’ll never follow through with them as a career or anything. I believed them, too, wanting to be a thoracic surgeon or some sort intensive doctor like that throughout my middle years in high school. Yeaaah…. That followed through, didn’t it?

I can’t really think of why. There really wasn’t any turning point that I remember. When I was very young, five-six-seven and on, I remember imagining Barbie’s friends doing horrible things to Barbie while she was naked, and the characters of video game Tekken 2 getting together, doing vague nakey stuff, and having babies and fighting bad guys of various natures (I was big on an oatmeal… Like, everyone would be naked and covered in oatmeal and fighting bad guys). Now that I really think about it… I was pretty much destined for some really out-of-this-world shit.

But what, exactly, am I into in regards to Gay Porn and Other Delicacies, and what do I recommend as part of my crazy-ass psyche?

How about I explain that in Part 2: Tickle Me Bits
How about I explain that in Part 2: Tickle Me Bits

Where Have You Beeeen!

Also: It’s Been a While, and There’s no Sunshine When She’s Gone, etc.

 

Well, between video games and writing and working and watching anime and sleeping and various mental blockages, I haven’t had the motivation for a proper post about anything. But now I’ve built up. Will I live in Baltimore soon? Will I live long enough in Murfreesboro? How can I possibly stay in glamorous touch with my sister, who has been working her ass off on a farm (the same program I was in 4 years ago!), and what’s in store for me regarding Temple University, either in Pennsylvania or Japan?

What is Intent vs. Impact? Does anyone who doesn’t really understand what this mean actually care?

Does my compulsive liar, selfish being of a sister have mental blockages like me that makes her just as deserving of anyone’s sympathy as I acquire?

Has the shoujo anime market finally ensnared me? With Chihayafuru and Red Data Girl being among the best anime I’ve ever watched, am I finally among the demographic?!

Is appreciating the eye candy in Suisei no Gargantia making me a complete sell-out? Ledo and Amy are so moe! I want to devour them!

The PS3 controller is so much better for me it’s CRAZY. I had about ten wins with Lili in Tekken 6 on the XBox 360. PS3 Tekken Revolution? 81 wins. EIGHTY-ONE FUCKING WINS! I’m getting messages from friggin’ awesome players telling me it was a good game! To see if t was all just flukes, I went back and played Tekken Tag Tournament 2 for the 360. For some reason, my reactions were slower, clunkier, and I made the silliest mistakes. PS4 is definitely in the future.

The Last of Us is awesome so far. I’m taking my time. Also, I’m actually playing online with a shooting game. Never done that before~!

I don’t ever want to work with food again! Secretarial work please and thank you!

I can’t believe I’ve ever believed in god or spirits. The scientific and logical reasoning against it is mind-boggling.

I do not get hangovers.

I did not drop from that high too badly, though I dropped enough to miss the correct time at work, and have a mental breakdown, but I was fine by that evening.

I have very specific tastes in anime art, despite my range of enjoyable things to watch. This mostly has to do with reading yaoi smut.

I need to learn a lot more kanji. I’m translating this BL game and it’s taking forever. Though there are some grammar points that I have to research, it’s looking up the damn kanji that’s just sucking out all my energy.

I need more porn.

Also… The reason why I wanted to make this post:

‘Spanking’  (and etc. plus constant criticism and belittling) over every minor infraction didn’t make me love my parents, or God more, it just made me afraid of them, and all the more determined to get away from them as soon as I possibly could. No mean feat, considering my self-esteem is rock-bottom in my young adult years… I always feel like I’m doing something wrong. 

It also made us much more secretive and deceptive, hiding things from our parents became an art form. Another neat trick considering my mom was nosy as shit, and felt perfectly justified in reading our mail, going through our drawers, etc. To this day lying to my mom dad is an automatic response, no matter the topic…, and I’m usually honest to a fault with everyone else I know. 

So great job No One. Keep up that Christian love, and maybe, just maybe, your spouse will go easy on you in the divorce. 

Quote taken from LDM, changed to reflect me just a bit more. See you soon!

Hellishly Hot with “642 Things To Write About”

The titles for this have changed but the quality of content has not. Sharing this stuff on Facebook makes me well-aware that I’m getting it out to the most amount of people I can, for free! I could actually do something with my tumblr or get a Twitter, but, meh.

Oh, yea, Facebook? Tiny, tiny drop, just as I thought.

Prompt #86-The president’s personal to-do list

My response:

1. Meet with theorists about Korean threat

2. Remind the fly-releaser that no one’s talked about me being the Antichrist for about a week

3. Listen in on Limbaugh/Fox/Far-right agency to see how well I’m doing- Remember, angrier they are, the better I’m doing

4. Smile less. Michelle doesn’t believe I’m not looking at pretty ladies anymore- remember secretary comment- Bad Obama!

5. Write speech- 500th one! (Subsequently reward self with a two-day golf vacation)

6. Fire the white guy who keeps talking about how great it is I’m a black president

7. Fire the white guy who keeps scoffing at guy in 6

8. Work out

9. Manipedi

10. Get teeth clean

11. Honor more promises

Sister’s response:

1. Peace- North Korea

2. Sign The Documents

3. Break- Hang out with family

4. Solve gay marriage and gun control issues

5. Take kids to the dentist

6. Photoshoot

7. Speech

Prompt#87- The general manager of the New York Yankees’ personal to-do list

My response: (I know more about butterfly migration patterns than the freakin’ Yankess- but here goes!)

1. Send hate mail to Red Sox

2. Send mocking letters to Astros

3. Pray to Special Bat and Special Ball on Special Field

Sister’s response:

1. Practice 5AM to 5PM tomorrow

2. Wash all jerseys

3. Pick up all balls

4. Gameplay

5. Practice game with Giants

6. Have someone clean field

7. Have someone to do 2 and 3

(haha)

Prompt#88- A powerful Hollywood agent’s personal to-do list

My response: (Okay, it’s officially unfun now)

1. Call diet manager and trainer

2. Tip off The Inquirer and Us about tomorrow’s secret outing

3. Email The Others

4. Pay NYPD, LAPD, Holiday Inn, Motel 6, and the people between fortieth and fiftieth

5. No more gin, ever

6. No more coke, ever

Sister’s response:

1. Fire coffee lady

2. Fire make-up artist

3. Fire donut boy

4. Fire Jack Black

5. Fire camera crew

6.Fire designers

7. Hire new crews

(Sister has more of a story going on XD)

Prompt#89- Three objects in your childhood bedroom

My response:

I can’t really remember anything but my bed and siblings… Ah! In middle school, I had the BL manga Fake- which I managed to get even though it had plastic wrap and adult content; the blue radio which I skipped to; and the Harry Potter book- I think maybe the first. I still have Fake, and I have an iPod now. :D

Sister’s response:

Stuffed animals, bunk beds, and syrup stain.

Prompt#90- The toy you most treasured

My response:

I had a stuffed bear with blue paws. It was soft and big, though that might have been because I was small. At one point, we all had a favorite stuffed animal, and then there was a time that mine was in the best shape or not missing. Now it’s gone, and my sisters still have Penelope and Minnie Mouse.

Sister’s response:

Penelope. I don’t know why, but she is the best toy ever. She doesn’t do much, but when it’s playing time, she’s always there.

Prompt#91- What’s stored in your closet?

My response:

My and others’ clothes, suitcases, my Teahouse paraphernalia, some games I’ve beaten (Final Fantasy XIII, Silent Hill Homecoming and Downpour), a tea set, a Shakespeare set, books I’ve read (the Pendragon books) and several volumes of various gay pornography.

Sister’s response:

Twilight books, old clothes, stuff from middle school, about 30 folded chips bags, boxes, sister’s stuff, and ceramics, and stuffed animals.

Prompt#92- The next sound you hear and what caused it

My response:

The crickets outside are doing their thing. They used to annoy the flipping fuck out of me, but they are okay now. Not to the point of lulling me to sleep or anything like you might read elsewhere, but not nearly as maddening as when I heard them when I was younger.

Sister’s response:

My sister saying “The next sound I heard after ‘it’ were crickets”. What caused it was the prompt asking ‘The next sound you hear and what caused it’.

(She’s freakin’ hilarious!)

To Ziracery!

To Ziracery! To Ziracery! To Ziracery!

I totally think we got total miscommunication between us! You haven’t done anything to me! That rant was for the anime world in general. Really, I want a lot more LGBT people in anime, and the entertainment media in general! Why did you close your blog? I’m sooooo sorry! So, so, so, so sorry!

 

Kuroko no Basuke or Why I love Sports Anime! or Why I hate Sports Anime!

Rating: 9/10

  • 10= Orgasmic and will watch again, by myself
  • 9= Awesomesauce, high chance of watching again, by myself
  • 8= Fantastic, medium chance of watching again, by myself
  • 7= Great, there’s a chance of watching by myself
  • 6= Nice, would need inspiration to watch by myself
  • 5=Good, will watch again , with friend(s)
  • 4= Average, medium chance of watching again, with friend(s)
  • 3= Below Average, low chance of watching again even with friend(s)
  • 2= Ho-hum, no chance of watching again
  • 1= Bad, regret watching

Vassalord Review

K Project

Uta no Prince-sama

Biases and pet peeves relevant to this anime with correlating points that don’t mean much:

  • Good Fanservice +30
  • BL Fanservice +70
  • Equal Fanservice +100
  • More realistic than not +40 (Mostly pertains to martial arts or sports anime)
  • Holy Animation Budget! +100
  • Tasteful Drama+200 (Gets higher than norm because it wouldn’t have been hard to be over the top)
  • Humor +50 (It is hilarious!)
  • Powerful women +70 (The main coach is a lady in high school!)
  • Protagonist loses +10 (I mean, it happens, but I was really geared for them winning aaaaaand..)
  • They aren’t naked nearly enough
  • Wasted beach episode -100
  • Dialogue at unrealistic times, even in head -100 (It was really conspicuous, too. Plus, they did a good job of it at other times)
  • We tried (Sis is here)

470 Points! You know what, I think it is kind of better than K Project… I mean, categorically it is, but to me… Yea, it is. I prefer the nature of shows like K Project, but comedy with a bit of drama (with no one dying) really helps out in me liking it overmuch.

Lemme me give you the biz:

This guy (Kuroko)
This guy (Kuroko)
meets this guy (Tagami)
meets this guy (Tagami)

This guy on the left (Kuroko) meets this guy on the right (Tagami). They fall in love but never admit it to each other.

The end.

For seriously though, Kuroko and Tagami become freshmen at a high school which has a pretty new basketball club. Tagami’s coming back from going to school in America, and Kuroko’s coming from Teiko Middle School. This school was the best middle school-  a Generation of Miracles appeared and had them winning National championships and all that.

But dear Kuroko wasn’t part of the main team, for he’s a really weak player. However, his passes kick so much ass he was called the sixth player. This anime deals with Kuroko and Tagami, a guy in fantastic shape for basketball, and their team against other teams, including the teams the other members of the Generation of Miracles joined.

Okay, so I did not expect to get into this anime as much as I did. After Prince of Tennis (which I’ve watched most of and liked a bunch) and trying, and failing at, Slam Dunk and Major, I was sort of unwilling to give this anime a chance.

Then I saw the fanart.

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So, when the fanart from people is this heavy, it usually draws from okay to official foundations. The bunch o’ guys thing drew me- but it could have been like Major, which I didn’t get into, or Prince of Tennis, which I wasn’t really feeling anymore.

So my sister and I started watching it on Crunchyroll. There’s a running gag that Kuroko is unnoticeable because he has no presence (or emotions- well, he does but… you gotta watch him deadpan the silliest things).

Deadpan

Deadpan 2

I found the humor very American, with sarcasm and such straight-faced announcements around every turn, while most comedic anime focuses on something absurd. You know, like many cartoons aren’t really about clever jokes, just crazy stuff happens and you’re supposed to laugh? In many American cartoons (the one catering to older audiences, and just plain good ones) that sort of humor is prevalent and the poor children are growing up too early!

Anywhowage, the realistic basketball drew me in so fast I’m still feeling the whiplash. Sure, the do soliloquies in the middle of jumping, but for the most part, you aren’t going to be against the laws of physics.You would think that would eventually get boring buuuut between Kuroko and Tagami not getting along, losing, and the fair amount of airtime for plenty of other characters to shine and this show game me something pretty well-rounded and an absolute delight to watch.

Kise vs Aomine

Very nice. Very nice throughout. I suggest that even if you don’t like sports, its very good for the characters and humor. If you don’t like sports anime, I think this is actually a change of pace from many- except for maybe Major, which I never finished.

Also, cute thing:

Color

Kuroko: The ‘kuro’ of Kuroko means black, pertaining to his shadow-like illusion quality, I presume.

Akagi: The ‘aka’  Akagi means red! Don’t know much about him yet….

Kise: ‘Ki’ of Kise means yellow (or the color of energy like lightning or electricity- and he’s the most energetic!)

Aomine: ‘Ao’ means… Okay, you get it.

Midori(ma) and Murasaki(bara) the last two. I thought at first- wow, how original, characters named after the color of their hair.

Then I realized I know no other anime where the characters are named after the color of their hair. XD Watch Kuroko no Basuke!

P.S. I ship Tagami/Kuroko, Aomine/Kuroko and Aomine/Tagami super hard. I didn’t know so many thought of a solution of them having a threesome. *-*

Vassalord or Why I Love Animation Budgets! or Why I Hate Animation Budgets!

Rating: 10/10

  • 10= Orgasmic and will watch again, by myself
  • 9= Awesomesauce, high chance of watching again, by myself
  • 8= Fantastic, medium chance of watching again, by myself
  • 7= Great, there’s a chance of watching by myself
  • 6= Nice, would need inspiration to watch by myself
  • 5=Good, will watch again , with friend(s)
  • 4= Average, medium chance of watching again, with friend(s)
  • 3= Below Average, low chance of watching again even with friend(s)
  • 2= Ho-hum, no chance of watching again
  • 1= Bad, regret watching

K Project Review

Uta no Prince-sama Review

From hereon, and I should have put this in others, but there are spoilers- SPOILERS!- spoilers~ Alright? Alright.

Biases and pet peeves relevant to this anime with correlating points that don’t mean much:

  • HOLY ANIMATION BUDGET! +200
  • Supernatural/Paranormal/Sci-fi +20
  • Good fanservice +30
  • BL fanservice +70
  • Fighting +10
  • Tasteful drama +50
  • Twist! +100

 

  • I can think of something…
  • Hrm…
  • No sex! -2
  • ?
  • Not long enough! -20

End score- 458! Much higher than “K Project”, and even though it is entirely sexless, I was very much impressed with this OVA.

So what happened?

Snazzy
Charles Chrishunds

This is who the caption says he is. He is as horribly serious as he looks. Which as usual in the anime/manga world- especially anime/manga with a tinge (well, a lot more than tinge, perhaps) of BL- makes him utterly adorable. He’s a second-generation-vampire cyborg.

You heard right, VAMPIRE CYBORG. Plus, he’s a super-religious guy who only drinks vampire blood- basically that of his maker.

I actually read “Vassalord” the manga while I was in the now-defunct Borders at the mall. They had an intensively ginormous manga section. What I could get out of “Vassalord” was that Charles was made a vampire by a nonchalant guy named Johnny Rayflo. Isn’t that not just the coolest name ever?

I know more now because of the anime, where Charles gets Johnny ‘as food’ to bring with him on a vampire-hunting mission from the Vatican- yay!

How I feel on mornings.
Johnny Rayflo and…How I feel on mornings.

Turns out, some nun issued this as a private mission in order to trade Johnny for a little lady in a tank. Next thing we see, little lady has killed everyone at this secret church place, and Charles and Johnny arrive, and Charlie is worried about Johnny sacrificing himself.

Little lady, named Maria, doesn’t care for dear Charlie, and we learn that she is also one of Johnny’s ‘children’, except a lot older than Charles, and, um, crazy. When Johnny refuses to kill Charles as she demanded, she tries to kill Charles instead. What happens then… Mwahahaha!

Now, like I said, I’ve only seen a smidgen of the Vassalord manga, and forgot about it the years since (it was like five or six years ago that I read the few chapters), so I had no idea that this thing had action, just gay vampire dudes. Or two vampire dudes that had no trouble doing everything but sex with each other. With that in mind, and the fact that the Aarinfantasy forum had it in the BL section, I wasn’t expecting much. BL anime tend to be horribly or lazily animated, even if they were beautiful. For example “Gakuen Heaven”, “Gravitation”, and “Sukisho” can have some pretty good stills, but it might as well have stayed manga because nothing moves very much. I noticed that they are pretty drama-packed. But even BL with sex- like “Ikoku Irokoi Romantan”, “Koisuru Boukun”, or “Winter Cicada”- where most viewers would be happy if they just put more money in the animation for the sex scenes, especially if you do them straight up! Buuuuuut… Nope! Still crappy.

“Ai no Kusabi”, the ’90s and newest one, didn’t have straight-up sex. I, for one, wasn’t waiting for the climax, literally and figuratively, of the story to be a gorgeous sex scene. They didn’t push that either; however, there were many little scenes- artistic scenes- of sexual acts. What I mean by artistic is that the makers knew they couldn’t afford good animation so they decided to show tasteful reactions, like this:

I wonder what's going on...
I wonder what’s going on…

You can just feel the strain, which you can’t feel in low-budget anime where there are a bunch of cookie-cutter comical faces and the overuse of special effects to demonstration a sense of movement or depth- like this gif does. Look at the shadowing, and how each individual muscle beacons its own movement- see the crease that appears in the leg at the top just as the foot turns. That is how you compensate for not being able to do something huge and glamorous- focus on those minute details and let it shine. Now, I like me comical faces and special effects, for sure, but when I see it used so blatantly to cover up a low budget, I just get sad in the center ya’ know?

And that’s where “Vassalord” really puts out.

Holy animation budget!
Holy animation budget!
Holy animation budget! Part Deux
Holy animation budget! Part Deux

When I saw that first bit at the beginning, I was like- wait, is this BL? Perhaps it’s just fanservice like “K Project”!

Holy BL!
Holy BL!

And then I was like, uhm, no. I mean, here, it could still be fanservice.

If you were desperate for them not to be gay. Otherwise, you would pretty much assume these guys liked each other a bit more than friends. In any case, I’ve already watched this three times and have no problem with watching it more often. It’s quick and sweet and beautiful.

I read a complaint that the humor was off-putting. There wasn’t much… um… funny in this. There was some cute banter, but nothing that took away the seriousness of what was happening. Plus, Charlie’s like 150 and Johnny is, what, a thousand? Puurty sure nothing’s that serious anymore.

To be honest, this would be an even more perfect movie if it had a sex scene, but, from what I heard, the manga doesn’t even have sex in it, so…

Alright,so I was going to put another picture for something I searched but the results were super fucked up. So that’s the end of this review! Watch Vassalord!