Tag Archives: homosexuality

When People Fear Sexual Expression

Or Gay Porn and Other Delicacies Part II: Was going to be ‘What I Like’ but the pictures I want to insert are pretty embarrassing to look for in a public library.

I’m at a new school. My computer may have been utterly destroyed with all my writing and pictures and music, et cetera, gone for the most part. But my itch to write has gone to shingles level, so here I am, trying to pinch out a blog post in one or two hour spurts. I put out that one before- about Blurred Lines? But that was a ‘Moment of Inspiration’.

Miley-CyrusSo you’ve heard about Miley Cyrus, of course. At the time my sister was watching the VMAs, and I had been there in the living room most of the day studying for German, which I hadn’t taken for more than a year and have now jumped into its intermediate class.

When Miley came on, my sister and I agreed that her hair looked stupid and nothing about her was really appealing. Her song was okay, her part of “Blurred Lines” was horrendous (though I might be biased because I fuckin’ love that song, besides the non-consensual connotation that I keep hearing about). My sister (and the other family members that joined us) were so shocked that the Disney star was dancing like that.

And I couldn’t help but think… Isn’t she, like, twenty? Matter-of-fact, she was the aforementioned sister’s age. And my sister has a two-year-old daughter. You don’t think Miley, like the rest of us humans, grows up beyond canned laughter and the tried and true best-friends-fight episodes, that-boy-isn’t-all-he’s-cracked-up-to-be episodes, the friggin’ surprise-birthday-goes-wrong-but-it’s-all-about-love episodes? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch such episodes of a show I really like (Supernatural or Spongebob, for example), but I know what they are, and I know what’s beyond.

My, what if she stayed like Taylor Swift. I’ve never listened to an artist so glued on monotony (wait, Maroon Five… But they are, like, a band… And Levine has some curve to his voice sometimes).

Anyway, I don’t mind it. I don’t listen to any of her songs, but, I’m good, and it’s just tiresome to hear the craziness that can follow.

I recently had a conversation with my new friends about Miley Cyrus, and one of the ladies there said that Miley ‘doesn’t have to be sexually provocative to be popular’ (Swift, a case in point- and notice how I call Miley by her first name… but not Taylor Swift? Hm.)

‘You don’t have to be slutty’

‘You don’t have to act like a whore and grind’


Yea… But what if you freakin’ want to?! Do people who say this, and there are soooooooooooooooo many who do…. so many… Do people who say this think that all people who act sexually for money don’t actually LIKE doing it? That perhaps, hey, it’s fun. I can wear less clothes and it’ll feel freeing and controlling and get a whole lot of attention? And I would like to be freeing and controlling and get attention by being sexually expressive? No, I don’t want to write a damn book and I don’t want to feed all of Libya. I want to strut what little I got and have fun?

Now, I wouldn’t do that, mainly because it seems tiring and I don’t have the complexion for it. And I like writing and translating a lot more.

Which brings me to the gay.


I guess this isn’t gay, per se, but the number of conceptions you build upon seeing this image (WHORE- MANWHORE- GAAAAAAAAY- OBJECTIFICATION- *scream*) is one of the many ways we express our limits of sexual expression.

There’s a sort of subtlety, but not really, when we come across something like Channing Tatum backin’ that ass up, and some guy screams out, “That’s fucking gross! I don’t wanna see that.” Or, the many times my mom and other women would see a female strutting some which way and would just be completely grossed out and say terrible things like ‘slut’ or some such.

Of course, if you give them the stink eye, they’ll scream about their heterosexuality, but I’ve come to realize, to actually be able to voice my dilemma about such a defense. It had come as a super confusing intuition before, but then I actually realized:

Being straight doesn’t mean hating the same sex.

And it definitely doesn’t mean you hate the same sex whenever they are being sexual. Straightness’ only connotation to me is: you enjoy the opposite sex, probably within the parameters of the sex’s stereotype. (Females are smaller, softer, cuter. Men are bigger, muscular, handsome. Whatever.)

On the flip side, many people have wondered why I enjoy homosexual men so much. Many could understand my affinity for lesbians because 1) most who have asked me are men and 2) someone like me who also likes women would probably like to see lesbians/lesbian sex.

Again, intuition reigned supreme, and I couldn’t relinquish a straight answer. Most of the time, it wasn’t a question I found interesting and needed answering, but now I do:

Gay men have better sex, especially in yaoi.

Now, I’m not saying overall. What I mean is, the only lesbian fiction I’ve had the pleasure to read were- minus a few gems- porn for men, which gets real old, real fast. Or it was too much on the romanticism. I love romance, I do. By itself, no. I don’t like much by itself. (And neither do you, I think.). I can’t, like I said in Gay Porn and Other Delicacies, even take a lot of romance in gay fiction- like Maurice. Romance (and sex etc.) must be twisted upon by something else.

Wolfin'And whatever medium – book , film, tv- can have gratuitous amounts of sex and blood, but as long as something else is there, I can manage it. Fortunately for me, the kink genre in gay erotica has just that extra pizzazz for me to sit down and enjoy, even though sometimes it can hold back and I doze off.

And most yaoi I’ve read- whether it’s Alcide/Elric crazy kinky vampire-werewolf fanfiction or a saga about a pair of detectives, have much more of that extra than I can ever hope for. And as an extensive, intensive reader, I feel entitled to a bit of spice every now and again and, if I want, in every fucking cake I eat.

Really, I feel, just, indignant when anyone wonders why or even hints at “You read/watch that stuff?” and I’m like, well, what do you do in your spare time? Because if you aren’t reading yaself a book, teaching yourself a language, practicing an instrument, writing short stories of any any nature, crocheting a blanket- you know, such things that I do nearly every day, don’t talk.

The thing about sexual expression is that it takes over.

False! But, really, yea, that’s pretty much true. There doesn’t seem to be any existence to a person whenever they sexually express themselves, unless it doesn’t matter in that fashion to a certain person in the first place. When people think about yaoi, for example, gay porn is the only thing they’re left with (this process of ‘minimization’ occurs elsewhere as well- you know, like, when people complain about a movie and say it’s a ‘boy-meets-girl’ story, while completely ignoring the fact that the guy is a zombie in a near post-apocalyptic zombie-infested world and the girl is the daughter of ArmyDadDeluxe, and that an extreme form of zombie was posing a risk to them all. By the way, that’s what I heard from someone about the movie Warm Bodies. And I was like… Really? That’s what you got from that?)

Sex is a compliment to life, and while having sex around others not involved is frowned upon, sexual expression doesn’t come close to it. There’s no need to fear it, whether from your preferred sex or not.


Over time, my tastes have broadened to an extremely zesty horizon that many would not touch, and it’s come to my attention that I can’t relate at all.

I actually cannot really… I don’t think ‘understand’ is the right word- I get it. But whatever the wavelength of empathy I cannot seem to connect to is, I can’t do it with people who are 100% gay or straight. I have come to ‘understand’ those orientations as simple preferences, like how I will not go out with someone who is religious or has bad breath.

I would just like that other people who can realize preferences as real, they can realize preferences for sexual expression are real as well, and it may not be anything as provocative as say….

I’m dressing like this because I want the D.

But simply, I look fucking hot in this and if you don’t like it, don’t look.

Which brings me back to the gay.

It’s hot, beyond the the reasons I mentioned before, the dichotomy between two swell-looking guys, or  cool-seeming guys, is pretty hot, and is often not seen in heterosexual fiction (No, I don’t think it exists…), and lesbian fiction I’ve come across hasn’t been beyond what I’ve seen (although I’m trying). Add in kink and supernatural and we got just crazy things to look forward to.



Oh, don’t tease me.

Homosexual Adoption

Homosexual Adoption.

My response:

If you’re against homosexual adoptions for that reason, I bet the thought of those first black kids in predominately white schools just makes her heart weep. We should just wait for mostly everyone to be okay with it before making any drastic changes for equality.

Still, you don’t seem interested in having a discussion. I’ve never seen a person so intent on blogging but not really talking to others. Why don’t you turn off the comments if you’re not interested in a conversation or debating? Or were you hoping for a couple of yes-men along the thread? (Guess he didn’t get enough- comments are closed, yay!)

And you keep saying how some are “offended easily” as if you are disagreeing with people’s choice in pie or something- when are people supposed to get offended? Why can’t you just own up to the consequences of your post?

Just to let you know, people who dislike homosexual adoption (or the idea of it) would LOVE your post, so who are you trying to warn in the first two sentences?


Seriously though, I’ve seen that excuse. Standard Republican hogwash which Harsh Reality is guilty of on a regular basis. Not too, too much (I still follow him) but enough to be like: oh, he’s such a Republican!

Merle Loves Daryl and Vice Versa! or True Love in The Walking Dead! or Incest is Best!


Here are Daryl and Merle respectively:

Daryl and Merle, lookin’ dangerous


They are brothers on AMC’s “The Walking Dead” and Daryl is undeniably my favorite character and possibly the only character I would want to be in a survival group with in a zombie apocalypse. He is the ONLY (ONLY ONE!) character who hasn’t annoyed me, not even a little bit. EVERY SINGLE OTHER character has done something that makes me want to just throw my remote at the fucking screen.

daryl shirt
I would sell my non-existent soul


Because Daryl is the only one who hasn’t annoyed me, he is the main object of my sexual thoughts whenever I’m feeling aroused (I’m a self-proclaimed psychological nymphomaniac; I cannot even sleep unless I’m dead tired, or I’m thinking out sexual situations) and watching “The Walking Dead”- Don’t judge me!

Even though I would love for Daryl and Carol to get their lovins on, and would be sorely pissed if that doesn’t come into fruition, I can only satisfy my sexual urges with some man-on-man thoughts. Rick would have been good if he wasn’t insane and cold-hearted (I get the whole survival thing, don’t rib me on that), and Herschel if he was younger, but nothing tickles me bits like thinking of Daryl and Merle.

Merle is a piece of shit most of the time and an asshole a lot of the other. Unfortunately, we have something huge in common: He loves Daryl (in the brotherly way, of course, blah blah). Loves him so much that he was willing to leave freakin’ Woodbury- where he had it, admit it, real good as the Governor’s man- so that he could look ALONE for a whiff of where his brother might be. After nine-fucking-months.

To be honest, if I was Merle’s position then, I doubt I would have started that search. Seemed foolhardy at the time. Definitely not alone, either.

Then, in the latest episode, he desperately packs up to back up his brother and kill the Governor before something happens to him, even talking to Michonne for help. And then, so adorable, his look of ‘manly relief’ when Daryl comes back all right.

Also, though I don’t like falling back on “Oh, he/she doesn’t mean the awful things they say” because that is not a good excuse to be saying awful things (BROTHER, SISTER, FATHER, I’M LOOKING AT YOU), it is getting-annoyingly- more obvious that that is Merle. Or maybe more like he doesn’t mean anything by it, no offense and such (except that he won’t say that last part seriously, thank goodness).

Last but not least, he views, correctly, that the Governor is a threat that needs to be eliminated as soon as possible. But because of his position, no one wants to listen to him, also rightly so, which makes him even more frustrated about Daryl’s safety.

I don’t feel that Merle is redeemed, but is he sexier? Oh, yes! Can he have sex with Daryl in my head? Sure thing.

And, if you haven’t noticed, or if you haven’t read about my writing on The Maléan World (It’s up there! Click! Click!) I greatly enjoy bad/evil/terrifying people who are on the ‘good side’ especially if they have an obsessive love on the ‘good side’ that keeps their hell-bent soul in check.

As a side note, I loved Michael Rooker’s (Merle) character- Grant, I think- in “Slither” (which my family and I have watched multiple, multiple times). He turns into an evil impregnating alien whose hell-bent soul is softened up by his love for Elizabeth Banks- uuuuuh- which eventually becomes his undoing. Ah, love!