Tag Archives: Christianity

Bible, Day 24, Back to Ridiculousness 2/2

Genesis 28:10-30:43

Summary: This story is so fucking ridiculous. Basically the telling of Jacob and his wives and how God messes with all of them. On top of that, the regular sexism of the age is made so dastardly prominent that I believe I had a permanent scowl on the entire time I was reading these passages. Let’s dive in.

28:10– so Jacob has left and he has a premonition or a dream or God visits him or something. It says in 12 that he dreamed, but then Jacob really felt some type of way because he calls that random place where it got dark it the ‘gateway’ to heaven. And it seems he made that decision on his own. Anyway, this is mostly wish fulfillment so that the goatmen listening know that they are special, or to convert so that they can become one of the special ones. Moving on.

20:17-18 – I’m always lookin’ into the order things are explained because usually the order has some logical explanation. So it is expressed that Rachel was prettier than Leah, and the next verse we have Jacob loving Rachel, which puts to mind that the reason he loves Rachel more than Leah is because Rachel was prettier than Leah, and that seems very likely.

20:25– How are these men being tricked so easily? I know Jacob is a bit young so couldn’t he hear the difference between Leah and Rachel? Did Leah not speak or make a sound?  Had candles not been invented yet? And why is Laban such a jackass? Why does Jacob have to work another seven years, and why would he agree to that? And is that all a woman is worth- seven years? And what does/do Rachel and/or Leah think about this?

:31– Why is Rachel barren if God can, at any time, make her not barren? Didn’t he see the misery coming?  Leah has, what, five sons by the time Rachel throws her maid at Jacob so that she can ‘have a family through her’. How does that work exactly? Is her maid not a person, so it counts as hers because the maid is hers? Is this an Unsullied sort of thing? UnsulliedBecause that was the exact kind of thinking that brought these boys along.

Speaking of boys, the preference of boys over girls is never explained. And there is no good reason for it. Some have said in the past (who am I kidding, they say it now) that is because boys are bigger and stronger and whatever, which is why so many people mourn the loss of ‘big strong manly men’ today, because it’s better to be that than anything else. And winning wars that we don’t need to have, that’s important too.

30:26 – So Laban knows he could get the good stuff through Jacob and convinces him to stay and Jacob fixes the sheep population so that he gets the big and strong sheep. I’m not sure how the branches work- maybe the whiteness of the inner wood rubs off on the babies? Anyway, there’s no way this plan would backfire.



Bible, Day 18, and the continuation of arbitrary favorites

Genesis 11:27-15-21

Here is the sub-caption: Abra was born around 2160 B.C., but the account of his life begins years later with his marriage to his half sister, Sarai. 



Why in the bloody hell are Christians the FIRST ones to be against sanguine marriages when their Bible is full of it? And why we pretending that our cousins haven’t been marrying for years? Now it’s bad because it’s weird and ‘bad things happen’ to the chillen but no one really knows.

Summary: Abram and Lot’s life and adventures, set up so that Abram’s people are given promises. I wonder how this story came up orally. I wonder if the promised people were changed with the area the storyteller visited.

11:29 – “Abram and Nahor both married. The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai, and the name of Nahor’s wife was Milcah; she was the daughter of Haran, the father of both Milcah and Iscah” WOOOOO- let’s slow down.  Teran had three boys, Abram, Nahor and Haran and possible one girl, Sarai. Haran died, but had a kid named Milcah, making her Abram and Nahor’s niece. NAHOR MARRIED HIS NIECE. ABRAM MARRIED HIS HALF-SISTER. And now Christians consider it pretty sinful to have sex with close relatives- but it wasn’t sinful then? Did God change his mind? I have questions!!!

11:31 – “his daughter-in-law Sarai”… So it was the mom’s kid? And the mom is where? Is who? Questions. Also, Haran is both a person and a place?

12:1-3 – Anyone want to tell me why Abram? Why was he special? Why not Lot, his nephew?

12:6-7 – “At that time the Canaanites were in the land” and then God just gives Abram this land? I suppose this was the beginning of the religious feeling behind taking over someone else’s land. And what do we mean by “appear”. Actual appearance? Wouldn’t that blind Abram? A voice? Wouldn’t that deafen him? A written note?

12:13 – “Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you” – SHE IS YOUR SISTER.

12:17 – Why punish anyone??? A little ‘appearance’ would have cleared this up in a jiffy, plus Pharaoh (they don’t put ‘the’) didn’t know. And anyway, SHE IS HIS SISTER

13 – Again, why Abram.

14 – What was this war about? Guess it doesn’t matter, as long as Lot is saved.

15 – Soooo God appears in visions- how is Abram taken outside? And isn’t he happy with what he got? No, he has to have a heir from his own loins get his wealth because reasons- no wonder the thought of kings, queens, and royalty caused so much strife in the world. People were just born chosen by god, and thus their children are also promised comfort and luxury, for no good reason.

Bible, Day 16-17, And He speaks again!

Job 38:1-39:30

And so God Almighty talks about all the godly things he can and does do. As great as God is, or anything at all is, I don’t believe anything is without question. Yea, I don’t know everything, but it’s real fucked up for God to be coming out the woodworks with supposedly wise sayings when this all started because he wanted to prove Satan wrong. Did we forget how all this started?

And then there are animals doing animals things without knowing what could go wrong. Don’t know about how some animal or another “laughs at horse and rider”, but whatever. This chapter was a  lot of babble so I’mma just continue to the next chapter.


Job 40:1-42-17

40:14 – “Then I myself will admit to you that your own right hand can save you” – 10.5-11 – “Who then is able to stand against me? Who has a claim against me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to me.”

41 – Are we talking about a crocodile or a dragon? Because all this fire and brimstone sounds… untrue? Also, we can kill crocodiles pretty easily now so… This chapter is useless.

42 – NOPE NOPE NOPE. So the moral of the story is that God is great and don’t question him? And why couldn’t God come sooner? Oh, right, god is great, don’t question him… And what about the kids and servants who died, where is their justice? Oh, right, god is great, don’t question  him. And did god ever tell Job that he was fucking with him for entertainment , bred out of a playful rivalry between him and Satan? Oh right god is great don’t question him.

I wonder if Job loves Big Brother as well.

Holy shit…

Also, I saw that the person who wrote this book wrote it as a parable- so perhaps it was meant to be written like a poem and treated like one of Aesop’s fables- but NOPE, this is a series of events believed to have actually happened and Job was an actual person.

What disappoints me most is that Job is a person I remembered from childhood so I thought his story would be extremely convincing to a nonbeliever such as myself. But it has left me wanting and irritated.


Day 14, Two weeks stretched over, um… How long has it been?

Job 32:1-34:37

Job 32:2-3 – “But Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, became very angry with Job for justifying himself rather than God. He was also angry with the three friends, because they had found no way to refute Job, and yet had condemned him” – Now THIS is an interesting development. I felt that the friends attempted to justify God plenty- and yet, true, Job went about justifying himself right afterwards. Also, I like how Elihu pointed out that the friends were pretty scheissty for saying that Job must have done wrong- but they didn’t know what it was. It’s as if Elihu wanted evidence or something. Weird kid.

34:29-30 – But this doesn’t haaaaappeeeeeeeeeen. Godless people become in charge. Also, up to here, this is just what the other guys have been saying, with an extra helping of Big Bro God is always watching and taking notes. So when Job had been sinning, he is paying for it now because God said so- and he took a bet with Satan.

35 – So Job has been punished for how he has acted when he thought he was being punished for no reason?

Bible, Day 12, And I gave in- Job continues for 8 more days!

Job 27:1-29:25

NO SUMMARY TODAY. I gotta relay my understand up front, and it looks like Job has finally accepted his fate? He basically reiterates what they were saying, how bad people are given their just deserts and Job is awesome and righteous (in his own eyes) and so he doesn’t have the right desert on his plate.

28: If the Bible was meant for literary discourse first and foremost and wasn’t trying to shove a hardly believable set of tales as literal gospel, maybe I could appreciate more the lines of verse that repeat so often. If these verses were more clever in their spread, I would enjoy them, but nothing whatsoever entices any part of my mental capacity. Anyway, yea, fear god, true wisdom and all that.

29: Okay, in this NIV Chronological version of the Bible the subheading says “God’s Past Goodness to Job”, and says that this chapter is one where Job is continuing his discourse. I’m not sure how one would feel to hear these words spoken about oneself, but I admittedly do find Job to be somewhat self-righteous and arrogant in this chapter. I knew from the other chapters and how others spoke to him (and how they attempted to console him) that Job was great person to a lot of people.

The writing rambles on again… Here is the last verse “I chose the way for them and sat as their chief; I dwelt as a king among his troops; I was like on who comforts mourners”

Alright we get it. Do people actually believed this happened? Is this the point of this story? Or maybe it’s not rambling and it is meant to be performed with a heavier and heavier heart??

Bible, Day 11, You can’t judge God

Job 22:1 – 26:14

Lol, jk, you literally can.

I’m back! I still don’t have steady internet. I don’t have to work nearly as far for the nearest internet, but Burger King isn’t exactly the place to set up a computer and books and various other distractions. Starbucks was such a place, but the nearest Starbucks is also where the campus is- a lovely 45 minute walk from here (here there is no public transportation. Isn’t that lovely?)

So I’m staying with my dearest sister until there’s time and effort that can be expended to help my way further south. A large amount of my material belongings are either (hopefully) molding in my mother’s storage unit (if I believe her claim that she is paying for it), and the others are chilling (comfortably) in my personal storage unit (it’s climate controlled). I can’t wait for when I can finally get a place of my own, or at least a place where I’m completely welcome and I can set up shop, as it were, and no one’s crossing lines until I leave.

So here I am, with the Bible by my side. I begin to read.

Summary: Eli and Bil’s turn come around again (this is tiring), and this time they seemed to have shifted the talk from “have hope because you’re awesome and God always rewards awesome people” to, “Well, technically you’re human so you probably suck to God, who’s perfect. Like, didn’t you burn some ants with a piece of glass? That might be way God destroyed your land, killed your family and servants, and makes everyone except a few loathe your presence.”

So Eli sets some cases down. Since God doesn’t do bad things to good people, he points out 22:5 “Is not your wickedness great? Are not your sins endless?” And since Job has has lived a limited number of years, there is a quantifiable amount of sins he has. Why anyone would call it endless is beyond me, unless the sins he made brought upon more sins, and he is responsible for those too? I would call bullshit on that because God’s actions have caused sins, way more sins than Job, but no one can put God on trial, as Job is fond of pointing out.

Job 23 – It’s getting pretty depressing hearing Job speak. I don’t know if these chapters happen all at once (which is silly) or these well-versed relations happened over a long time (which is even sillier), but if his pain isn’t gone or at least his situation is cleared up to him, this is just a long stream of consciousness of someone getting tortured.

I have understood so far that Job was a pretty good guy or that he (God, Satan) thinks so. And even if he WAS a bad guy, there are other bad people who “drive away the orphan’s donkey” and “thrust the needy from the path” and they’re not getting their due. And I don’t think Job means it in a tu quoque sort of way. Basically, if God always punishes the wrongdoers and blesses the righteous, it obviously doesn’t look like it (because he doesn’t exist!)

Why do bad things happen to needy people, and the people that put them there, or keep them there, or do not reach out their hands, remain unpunished? It’s an interest thought for someone who believes in a great god.

25:6 – “how much less man, who is but a maggot- a son of man, who is only a worm”- So does God like us or not? If these words of god put to paper were influenced by the god above, it doesn’t seem as if he thinks of us as anything worth anything. I mean, damn, we use worms as bait for tastier food, and try to keep maggots from forming (usually) so what does this verse really say about us?

26:1-4 – WOAH WOAH WOAH This motherfucka better be beein’ sarcastic! Holy shit if he had suddenly turned over a new leaf because ol’ Billy said that his life is worthless in the eyes of the Lord, I’mma be one pissed black lady!


26:12 – Who the fuck is Rahab? I should really look it up, but I try not to look up things I don’t know in books, just in case they come back and reference this particular unknown. If I try and find the answer I might end up spoiling the story- and this story is quite boring enough without spoilers. Plus, I’m still reeling from the beginning of the chapter. I have to read the next one to get an understanding of what people are really saying.

Bible, Day 10, and He’s really doing Job wrong

Job 19:1-21:34

Summary: More blathering from Zophar, but Job makes some good good points later on in this section. And I mean good from an atheist’s point of view.

19:3 – “a rebuke that dishonors me” – oh poor thing and your honor

19:13-20  – Holy shit, I’m just now realizing that Job’s community is treating him badly. Everyone’s treating him like shit. So his servants all die and all his farming is destroyed, then his kids are killed, and then he gets leprosy. On top of it all, everyone thinks he’s evil or has lost God’s favor and should be punished by everyone else as well as God. Awesome.

20:3 – Dishonor! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!

:19 – Oh look, the oppression of the poor is bad enough to give people who do it the name of evildoers who will earn God’s wrath. And yet in America we have one of the most religious populations in the developed world, and also the greatest pushback on helping the poor- and I mean REALLY helping the poor, not just dropping a few coins in the red bucket come Christmas, or even giving money to the church, unless your church has a hardworking charity aspect. Let’s look more closely at “seized houses he did not build”. I don’t know if you know this, but you can’t build houses – cardboard or not – just willy nilly, and so people can come take it, or call the police to do so. If you need somewhere to sleep, you better find a bridge, you fucking homeless fucker!

:29 – Such is the fate? Not all the time! Hell, not even most of the time. Where is Zophar getting his history lessons?

21:7  – Yes. Why do they? Seriously?

:19 – “It is said ‘God stores up man’s punishment for his sons.’ Let him repay the man himself, so that he will know it!

kermit drinking tea