Tag Archives: Jacob

Bible Study, Day 26, Twelve sons and Dinah, who got raped

Genesis 33:1-35:29

Abram’s name was changed to Abraham and in the NIVC, that was his name until he died, but Jacob is still being called Jacob, and not Israel. Maybe because he keeps tricking poor Esau The Sap. And his wheedling to Esap with ‘your servant’ this and ‘your servant’ that, and plus his actions from before with Laban and even before with the birthright thing, the fact that his name is now Israel must not have sat well with the goatmen, no matter what God said, lol.

33:1-2 – Goddamn, do you have to make your favoritism so damn transparent. It’s gross.

34 – Shechem raped Dinah and expected her to be his wife (given away, by the way). As horrible as that was, Jacob’s sons killing all the circumcized males in the village/town/city was off as well. And now Jacob has ‘trouble’, to put it lightly. Maybe everyone knew and did nothing? I’m not sure why they killed and plundered and took the women and children.

35:20 – “to this day that pillar marks Rachel’s tomb”, where are we on the timeline again?

:22 – “While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father’s concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it.” And then it continues to Jacob’s sons by which women he’s slept with. Should we just know that Reuben (Jacob’s firstborn) slept with the maidservant? Also, Jacob is now Israel for sure!

Oh, Rachel dies in childbirth and Isaac dies of old age.


Bible, Day 25, People be forgettin’

Genesis 31:1-32:32

Summary: The story of Jacob leaving Laban and Jacob returning to his brother Esau and everything makes me question this God-of-the-Bible. I better read in Revelations or Peter why God gives the world the silent treatment.

31:3– He SAID TO JACOB. We know for certain this nigga ain’t perfect so why is God gabbing away and popping up in this dude’s dreams all his life but is now utterly silent? Questions!

:7 – Changed wages ten times? Like, lower wages? Higher wages?

:8 – Okay, so ABZ says not to doubt this dream of Jacob because it was verified elsewhere but we know how people can get around revelations and premonitions, but beyond that- We’ve read with 30:37-43 that Jacob SPECIFICALLY influenced the outcome of the sheep’s physiology with the branches from “poplar, almond and plane trees“…. sooooo how is Jake gonna say that God influenced the outcome, making all the young speckled because Jake wanted specks, and making all the young streaked because Jake wanted the streaks? Are we just going to ignore that?

:19- “When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father’s household gods.” Gods! Are there other gods? Are other religions okay? Why did Rachel take those? From verses 14-16, it seems both Leah and Rachel believe in Jacob’s god (and, indeed, there seems to be a poignant effort to point out whose god is whom’s)

:24- “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.” Sooooo, basically, God wants Laban to leave or speak through a mediator? ABZ clarifed- “Be careful that you do not speak from good to bad”, Gooootcha. Why are they different???

:38– It’s not hard to believe that Jacob was ill-treated (more often than what was said before) while with Laban, but then Laban can’t find his gods (I guess wooden or stone idols), but Rachel DID steal them. How have people who’ve read this ever learned to trust or really, truly believe another person when things can be hidden like this? Also, ABZ explained further why the idols were important, and not because they were gods (of course) but because those who had possession of the idols can claim Laban’s inheritance, so the idols work as a blessing or heirloom or will of sorts.

:53- ABZ puts, as extra, thusly “Jacob swore only by [the one true God] the Dread and Fear of  his father Isaac, while Laban swore by some other things. I guess holy wars weren’t a thing here? Or maybe it was because they were relatives? I wonder.

32:32– Principle of the matter I guess, but it doesn’t seem as if anyone asked them to do this.

back to 32:24-32– So Jacob-turned-Israel wrestled with God and God lost (?????). And God can make himself into the shape of a man and talk to people? And he uses this power to wrestle Jacob and knock his hip socket out of place so that Israelites would put hip socket tendons on the non-Kosher list? So damn random!

Bible, Day 24, Back to Ridiculousness 2/2

Genesis 28:10-30:43

Summary: This story is so fucking ridiculous. Basically the telling of Jacob and his wives and how God messes with all of them. On top of that, the regular sexism of the age is made so dastardly prominent that I believe I had a permanent scowl on the entire time I was reading these passages. Let’s dive in.

28:10– so Jacob has left and he has a premonition or a dream or God visits him or something. It says in 12 that he dreamed, but then Jacob really felt some type of way because he calls that random place where it got dark it the ‘gateway’ to heaven. And it seems he made that decision on his own. Anyway, this is mostly wish fulfillment so that the goatmen listening know that they are special, or to convert so that they can become one of the special ones. Moving on.

20:17-18 – I’m always lookin’ into the order things are explained because usually the order has some logical explanation. So it is expressed that Rachel was prettier than Leah, and the next verse we have Jacob loving Rachel, which puts to mind that the reason he loves Rachel more than Leah is because Rachel was prettier than Leah, and that seems very likely.

20:25– How are these men being tricked so easily? I know Jacob is a bit young so couldn’t he hear the difference between Leah and Rachel? Did Leah not speak or make a sound?  Had candles not been invented yet? And why is Laban such a jackass? Why does Jacob have to work another seven years, and why would he agree to that? And is that all a woman is worth- seven years? And what does/do Rachel and/or Leah think about this?

:31– Why is Rachel barren if God can, at any time, make her not barren? Didn’t he see the misery coming?  Leah has, what, five sons by the time Rachel throws her maid at Jacob so that she can ‘have a family through her’. How does that work exactly? Is her maid not a person, so it counts as hers because the maid is hers? Is this an Unsullied sort of thing? UnsulliedBecause that was the exact kind of thinking that brought these boys along.

Speaking of boys, the preference of boys over girls is never explained. And there is no good reason for it. Some have said in the past (who am I kidding, they say it now) that is because boys are bigger and stronger and whatever, which is why so many people mourn the loss of ‘big strong manly men’ today, because it’s better to be that than anything else. And winning wars that we don’t need to have, that’s important too.

30:26 – So Laban knows he could get the good stuff through Jacob and convinces him to stay and Jacob fixes the sheep population so that he gets the big and strong sheep. I’m not sure how the branches work- maybe the whiteness of the inner wood rubs off on the babies? Anyway, there’s no way this plan would backfire.


Bible, Day 23, and Jacob Deceives Isaac! Didn’t see that coming.

J/K I did. Jacob means ‘he deceives’

Genesis 27:1-28:9

Summary: Jacob deceives poor Isaac when he’s old.

27 – Can’t he tell the difference between their voices? This is a ridiculous story. And what about Rebekah’s part in this plot? Well, I guess putting the blame squarely on the shoulders who did it is commendable, and Jacob did take Esau’s birthright, so it’s not like he didn’t want to take from Esau what was his, but your mother saying she’ll help you trick the dad does put some blame on said mother.

Can the blessing be passed on to only one kid? Why are we lording one kid over the other kids? Especially fucking twins? Do you want them to kill each other?

39 – Awesome blessing, Isaac. What is wrong with these people? Why didn’t he memorize two blessings?

45 – What’s up with these people and forgetting? I would never forget that my brother took a blessing reaching me and my wive s and my children and my children’s children for himself, and I get a shitty off-the-cuff blessing.

28:2 – Marry one of your cousins, Jacob. 8-9 Abraham son’s Ishmael who had a daughter named Mahalath married Esau. Abraham had Isaac and Ishmael. Mahalath is Esau’s cousin. Ok, that makes sense.

I pretty much skipped the rest. Made my eyes cross reading that crap.