Tag Archives: religion

Bible, Day 25, People be forgettin’

Genesis 31:1-32:32

Summary: The story of Jacob leaving Laban and Jacob returning to his brother Esau and everything makes me question this God-of-the-Bible. I better read in Revelations or Peter why God gives the world the silent treatment.

31:3– He SAID TO JACOB. We know for certain this nigga ain’t perfect so why is God gabbing away and popping up in this dude’s dreams all his life but is now utterly silent? Questions!

:7 – Changed wages ten times? Like, lower wages? Higher wages?

:8 – Okay, so ABZ says not to doubt this dream of Jacob because it was verified elsewhere but we know how people can get around revelations and premonitions, but beyond that- We’ve read with 30:37-43 that Jacob SPECIFICALLY influenced the outcome of the sheep’s physiology with the branches from “poplar, almond and plane trees“…. sooooo how is Jake gonna say that God influenced the outcome, making all the young speckled because Jake wanted specks, and making all the young streaked because Jake wanted the streaks? Are we just going to ignore that?

:19- “When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father’s household gods.” Gods! Are there other gods? Are other religions okay? Why did Rachel take those? From verses 14-16, it seems both Leah and Rachel believe in Jacob’s god (and, indeed, there seems to be a poignant effort to point out whose god is whom’s)

:24- “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.” Sooooo, basically, God wants Laban to leave or speak through a mediator? ABZ clarifed- “Be careful that you do not speak from good to bad”, Gooootcha. Why are they different???

:38– It’s not hard to believe that Jacob was ill-treated (more often than what was said before) while with Laban, but then Laban can’t find his gods (I guess wooden or stone idols), but Rachel DID steal them. How have people who’ve read this ever learned to trust or really, truly believe another person when things can be hidden like this? Also, ABZ explained further why the idols were important, and not because they were gods (of course) but because those who had possession of the idols can claim Laban’s inheritance, so the idols work as a blessing or heirloom or will of sorts.

:53- ABZ puts, as extra, thusly “Jacob swore only by [the one true God] the Dread and Fear of  his father Isaac, while Laban swore by some other things. I guess holy wars weren’t a thing here? Or maybe it was because they were relatives? I wonder.

32:32– Principle of the matter I guess, but it doesn’t seem as if anyone asked them to do this.

back to 32:24-32– So Jacob-turned-Israel wrestled with God and God lost (?????). And God can make himself into the shape of a man and talk to people? And he uses this power to wrestle Jacob and knock his hip socket out of place so that Israelites would put hip socket tendons on the non-Kosher list? So damn random!

Bible, Day 24, Back to ridiculousness 1/2

So ol’ Wordyprez let me know that it’s been at least a month since the last time I’ve updated my blog site. And I usually slack off on social media if I’m having fun elsewhere, and that fun’s being had through chats and video games and wonderful family and people. So life is puuuurty  nice right now- even got an interview with a job I really really really really want.

But I was enjoying my little Bible studies, yes yes, and I was ultra excited when I got another specially made Bible from one of my sister’s friend’s mother. This lovely lady is just like my mom when it comes to religion- or, really, Christianity. What I call cloyingly religious. Like the phrase ‘cloyingly sweet’, no matter the situation or what part of the dessert you’re eating, religion makes its way in with all the delicacy as a waterfall of syrup.

It's Jesus!
It’s Jesus!

And that experience reminded me on why I had to pull no punches whatsoever with my atheism, because many times, no one else does. On top o’ dat, she knew I didn’t go to church and I bet she knew it was because I didn’t believe in any religions or gods. She repeatedly said that I should ‘try out God’ and ‘try out church’ and ‘remember God is in all things’ and was talking about how people are punished by God all the time, and I felt so damn disrespected.

Lemme tell you about one of the people that God punished in her life. I told her that I don’t deal with my mom very much because she’s not a good person right now but ain’t no one call tell her nothing- and it’s always been this way and I’ve only really just grasped it this year. Well Friend’s Mom starts talking about how this one woman in her life did very wrongly by her parents- said bad stuff, put ’em in a nursing home, treated them very wrong. Then she got cancer and died very quickly. She was in her early sixties. And while that seems like an everyday thing, that showed Friend’s Mom to always respect her parents. Lemme tell you, goddamnit, nothing sparks my fury faster than fucking gaslighting me (I get dreams- I guess nightmares?- about gaslighting nearly every day). It shows how you don’t know about me, or my life, or my effin’ parents. People automatically assume I’m being ungrateful or misunderstanding my parents or something. I think it’s because I’m a cool cat or something so my parents MUST be the ones to thank.

parents can be assholes

So I  might’ve been a bit biased on Friend’s Mom experience with Cancer Friend. But then! My sister told how she was going to visit an internet friend (went well by the way, everyone was who they said they were, sister had a fantastic time), and Friend’s Mom told us about another friend who met a man and it turned out he was evil and a pervert and they married and divorced within a month. Why was the man evil and a pervert? Because he watched porn.

Alright ok

I nearly asked, “What kind of porn?” But I had a feeling that that wasn’t the point. Now I know there are some feminists out there who find all porn to be the work of spoiled men who wanted to be sexually fulfilled at any moment and that pornography preyed on young women who needed money and a job- but I didn’t think that Friend’s Mom was that kind of anti-porn artist. My sister sent a still of above to my phone.

When we almost separated (I missed my bus the first go ’round, but we caught up with it- an hour early actually), Friend’s Mom gave me the Amplified Bible (ABZ) by Zondervan. ABZ uses extremely simplified translations that are more prose than Hebrew poetry. It has introductions and outlines and explanations in parenthesis and so I believe it’s addition will render my analyses more complete. Just to remind you, the other Bible I’m using is the New International Version One Year Chronological (NIVC). This foreword was a little longer than I expected, but I suppose that is to be expected after not writing for a while!

Bible, Day 18, and the continuation of arbitrary favorites

Genesis 11:27-15-21

Here is the sub-caption: Abra was born around 2160 B.C., but the account of his life begins years later with his marriage to his half sister, Sarai. 

HALF SISTER SARAI

HALF SISTER SARAI

Why in the bloody hell are Christians the FIRST ones to be against sanguine marriages when their Bible is full of it? And why we pretending that our cousins haven’t been marrying for years? Now it’s bad because it’s weird and ‘bad things happen’ to the chillen but no one really knows.

Summary: Abram and Lot’s life and adventures, set up so that Abram’s people are given promises. I wonder how this story came up orally. I wonder if the promised people were changed with the area the storyteller visited.

11:29 – “Abram and Nahor both married. The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai, and the name of Nahor’s wife was Milcah; she was the daughter of Haran, the father of both Milcah and Iscah” WOOOOO- let’s slow down.  Teran had three boys, Abram, Nahor and Haran and possible one girl, Sarai. Haran died, but had a kid named Milcah, making her Abram and Nahor’s niece. NAHOR MARRIED HIS NIECE. ABRAM MARRIED HIS HALF-SISTER. And now Christians consider it pretty sinful to have sex with close relatives- but it wasn’t sinful then? Did God change his mind? I have questions!!!

11:31 – “his daughter-in-law Sarai”… So it was the mom’s kid? And the mom is where? Is who? Questions. Also, Haran is both a person and a place?

12:1-3 – Anyone want to tell me why Abram? Why was he special? Why not Lot, his nephew?

12:6-7 – “At that time the Canaanites were in the land” and then God just gives Abram this land? I suppose this was the beginning of the religious feeling behind taking over someone else’s land. And what do we mean by “appear”. Actual appearance? Wouldn’t that blind Abram? A voice? Wouldn’t that deafen him? A written note?

12:13 – “Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you” – SHE IS YOUR SISTER.

12:17 – Why punish anyone??? A little ‘appearance’ would have cleared this up in a jiffy, plus Pharaoh (they don’t put ‘the’) didn’t know. And anyway, SHE IS HIS SISTER

13 – Again, why Abram.

14 – What was this war about? Guess it doesn’t matter, as long as Lot is saved.

15 – Soooo God appears in visions- how is Abram taken outside? And isn’t he happy with what he got? No, he has to have a heir from his own loins get his wealth because reasons- no wonder the thought of kings, queens, and royalty caused so much strife in the world. People were just born chosen by god, and thus their children are also promised comfort and luxury, for no good reason.

Bible, Day 9, And there are no atheists in fox holes, as they say

Job 15:1-18:21

Summary: The back-and-forth continues. I was hoping they would have gotten to the point by now. Alas, we’re walking through the murkiest mud just to end up how we all know it would end. Of course, many people say it’s the journey which counts (I have always disagreed with this sentiment, along with ones like “it’s the small things that matter” or “money can’t buy you happiness”). Here are some fun bits I actually enjoyed reading.

Job 15:1-19 – So Eliphaz tells ol’ buddy Job that the words of the forefathers and wise men and et cetera wouldn’t say useless things or give bad advice. And while we should always honor the old guy in a place where men die young, sometimes things change or things are currently better understood or the situation at hand is completely different from whatever the old-timers have faced in the past, and sometimes the ‘advice’ of the old-timers comes out to be complete bullshit said from people who didn’t truly understand all the points of view. (You know some of the people who put ‘colored’ and ‘whites’ signs on their restaurants or the people who dragged black people to the forest to hang them, some of them are still alive, and some of them had children who are certainly still alive- do you think they didn’t pass down some awful ‘advice’? )

Job 15:18 –  So everyone suffers, or just wicked men? I’m not sure. The -Ites are try their hand in saying that things will be well for him if he would just be a good little Christian (and wait, I suppose), but Job is having NONE of it. All his life he’s had not to fight, but he’s been a good boy and he doesn’t want to be tortured if he was good. Then the -Ites dare to say that Job shouldn’t rise against God or complain about his treatment because only bad men do that and as long as he is pure and righteous thing will be alright for him. He’s just gotta wait until the bet is over.

No, seriously, I have no idea how this ends but I believe this should have been over a long time ago.

A regular person would have stopped this a long time ago- probably after seeing the servants all with slit throats, or maybe after killing a bunch of kids. Again, is God eating popcorn and watching all this unfold, watching as Job gets angry at himself and his situation, and watching the -Ites speak on His behalf although this was all a twisted little game between him and Satan so that these chapters, this book could be written in the Bible and shown to other people who have bad things happen to them.

But this shows me, things can always get worse and worse and worse, and then you can even die- but at least you’ll be in heaven. You suffered for nothing, but God, the shoddy psychopath, is pleased.

Bible Study, Day 8, and, “Your maxims are proverbs of ashes.”

Job 11:1-14:22

(13:12) This is what I think every time any religious believer starts spewing age-old arguments for whatever is wrong with their religions. “Your maxims are proverbs of ashes”! Damn, this spoke to me so well I squealed like a child. I wish I had spoken these words, or something like them, before I had read them, but now I definitely will spit these out one day- how about to a devout Christian? Will they know this came from the Bible? Of course, different translations and all, it may be hard to recognize the words and sentiment of this verse, but it’s good.

11:4-6 – This would  be an awesome comeback if, again, God hadn’t said in the previous chapters that Job was blameless and pure. It may be true that “God has even forgotten some of [Job’s] sin”, BUT if this was to be a poignant point, it would need to stay forgotten. To say God forgot and that he has debt to pay would mean it’s not forgotten -______-

11:13-20 – So basically, when things don’t go so right for you, know that you’re awesome and good with God and things will get better. You know, like Joel Osteen and Donald Trump. Yea, you see where this might get ornery? There are people who most people generally believe are the scum of the Earth, but as long as they believe they are right with God, they’ll feel well about what they’re doing, and continue to do it. Instead of thinking that perhaps it was luck or they’re siphoning the faith of others or using the less lucky to their own nefarious ends- they think God has allowed this to happen because it’s a good thing, or something.

On the plus side, if you ARE doing all you can do to stay righteous and be good and all the shiznit, this is all you can do when things go wrong. Other than commit suicide. But think about the people you love, and if you don’t love a lotta people, think of the possibility of you fucking your suicide up and you become a vegetable or a drooling imbecile until you die- or various other things that can go even more wrong than suicide. Personally that’s one of the reasons why I haven’t for so long. I don’t want to get fucked up in the head any more than I am, lol

Job 12-13 – So Job knows how awesome and powerful  God is, and that, in this Bible-babble land, if you’re a good person, you’ll have a good life. He makes the awesome point that, yea, that helps him not one bit. Maybe he’s being impatient, but he wants to get rid of his misfortune NOW. And who wouldn’t? Especially if all your friends are saying that God will come in and swoop him off his feet in TLC. And all he asks is for God to tell him what he did wrong, or kill him. Of course, God isn’t going to answer because Job didn’t do anything wrong and He isn’t going to kill Job because…because….because???? I guess the bet with Satan is still on?

Job 14– The subtitle says “Man is Frail” for this chapter, comparing humans to trees and stuff that can grow back (and let’s not forget that trees don’t care about living or dying) and that humans don’t have much so at least God can keep tabs and bring sins up receipt-like before he starts torturing his subjects.

Bible! Day 6, and why Mother Teresa is a saint (though she was terrible)

Job 4:1-7:21

Summary: Pep talk from Eliphaz, and Job’s pity party continues

4:7-11 – Okay, I have NO idea where this naivete comes from, and I’m pretty sure ol’ Eliphaz is talking about the present life and not what sowage you get once you enter the pearly gates. I could be wrong though. 7- “Should not your piety be your confidence and your blameless ways your hope?”  I suppose, if you believe that you’ll eventually get the good you deserve after a bad stroke, but Jesus, why go through the bad, for what reason? Because God likes to test you and see you come back?

21 – “Are not the cords of their tent pulled up, so that they die without wisdom?” – Is wisdom really worth your whole family getting killed and being tortured? Job was a pretty awesome guy before all this (and God said so, to Satan), and he still hasn’t cursed God (even though this is definitely partly his fault, the jackass), what’s the point of this? Oh, makes for a good story doesn’t it? It’s a good plothole filler for all the times people go through hardship- it all means something, it’s fantastic, it’s Christian, suffering is deliverance. Main reason why the maniac Mother Teresa is becoming a saint.

Job 5:13 onward – “He catches the wise in their craftiness and the schemes of the wily are swept away.” But he let Satan destroy all Job had for a silly bet that benefits NO ONE.

Flashback– Okay, so angels and Satan go visit God. Where is God located that they have to travel to see him????

Job 7:16-17 – “I despise my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone; my days have no meaning.” OKAY THE JOKE’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. How can anyone read this and be anything but irate? Well, there is still more to this discussion. Maybe I’ll feel better after the next reading.

  1. Plot  – 5, I’m very much interested on how this discussion develops….
  2. Credibility – 5, Oh yea, this has happened many many many times in life
  3. Reliability – 4, Sure one can rely on this for support, but I wouldn’t. It just isn’t enough, sorry.
  4. Clarity – 5, Crystal Clear.
  5. Reality – 5, Even though I, personally, won’t find solace in these verses, I think many people do. This discussion is the basis of many faiths- I don’t understand why I haven’t heard more of Job on the whole. Maybe because he’s overshadowed by another man whose name starts with J.

Bible! Day 4, And sons are the only important ones

Genesis 10:1-5, 1 Chronicles 1:5-7, Genesis 10:6-20, 1 Chronicles 1:8-16, Genesis 10:21-11:26, 1 Chronicles 1:17-27

Head’s up, don’t read Chronicles. It seems to merely chronicle the line of men in the Bible which gets real tiresome, real soon.

11:1-8, esp. v. 5-7 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other. ” —– Okay, I’d been taught all my life that the men were all full of themselves and forgetting god and all that shit, but here we have the Lord simply not wanting his little playthings to advance. Well joke’s on the Lord, we cane learn other people’s languages!

Seriously though, throw me a link my way that will explain why God of omniknowing goodness is acting like a spoiled little shit.

11:10 – I totes remember God saying something like humans shouldn’t live more than 120 years, and here we have 403… 430…209? Etc. Is there going to be an explanation on why lives are getting shorter or are supposed to figure that out on our own?

  1. Plot  – 0, bored to tears reading all them names, and just got upset that God fucked with the towers for little to no reason
  2. Credibility – 5, It’s not much, but it is all pretty believable, and I had always loved this story about how all the languages got made. I’m interested if there aren’t some Biblical academics out there who believe that these tower-building people were the origin of the Proto-Indo-European language?
  3. Reliability – 4, I’ve been told many times that too much work has gone into the Bible for it to be fake (of course, that should also go for any other religious texts, but of course it doesn’t). And this segment is one of the reasons- who would go through all that trouble naming names, other than people whose perfect recitation of these names meant a paycheck (or paybag? Purse of gold?)
  4. Clarity – 4, It’s pretty clear. But I’m still hung up on why
  5. Reality – 5, Even I believed this was the origin of languages for a long time. And learning a different language doesn’t really help you unless you go back to the histories of languages, and only then, if you’re curious enough, you would seek out the ultimate language from which all others derived (like I did).