Or Gay Porn and Other Delicacies Part II: Was going to be ‘What I Like’ but the pictures I want to insert are pretty embarrassing to look for in a public library.
I’m at a new school. My computer may have been utterly destroyed with all my writing and pictures and music, et cetera, gone for the most part. But my itch to write has gone to shingles level, so here I am, trying to pinch out a blog post in one or two hour spurts. I put out that one before- about Blurred Lines? But that was a ‘Moment of Inspiration’.
So you’ve heard about Miley Cyrus, of course. At the time my sister was watching the VMAs, and I had been there in the living room most of the day studying for German, which I hadn’t taken for more than a year and have now jumped into its intermediate class.
When Miley came on, my sister and I agreed that her hair looked stupid and nothing about her was really appealing. Her song was okay, her part of “Blurred Lines” was horrendous (though I might be biased because I fuckin’ love that song, besides the non-consensual connotation that I keep hearing about). My sister (and the other family members that joined us) were so shocked that the Disney star was dancing like that.
And I couldn’t help but think… Isn’t she, like, twenty? Matter-of-fact, she was the aforementioned sister’s age. And my sister has a two-year-old daughter. You don’t think Miley, like the rest of us humans, grows up beyond canned laughter and the tried and true best-friends-fight episodes, that-boy-isn’t-all-he’s-cracked-up-to-be episodes, the friggin’ surprise-birthday-goes-wrong-but-it’s-all-about-love episodes? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch such episodes of a show I really like (Supernatural or Spongebob, for example), but I know what they are, and I know what’s beyond.
My, what if she stayed like Taylor Swift. I’ve never listened to an artist so glued on monotony (wait, Maroon Five… But they are, like, a band… And Levine has some curve to his voice sometimes).
Anyway, I don’t mind it. I don’t listen to any of her songs, but, I’m good, and it’s just tiresome to hear the craziness that can follow.
I recently had a conversation with my new friends about Miley Cyrus, and one of the ladies there said that Miley ‘doesn’t have to be sexually provocative to be popular’ (Swift, a case in point- and notice how I call Miley by her first name… but not Taylor Swift? Hm.)
‘You don’t have to be slutty’
‘You don’t have to act like a whore and grind’
Yea… But what if you freakin’ want to?! Do people who say this, and there are soooooooooooooooo many who do…. so many… Do people who say this think that all people who act sexually for money don’t actually LIKE doing it? That perhaps, hey, it’s fun. I can wear less clothes and it’ll feel freeing and controlling and get a whole lot of attention? And I would like to be freeing and controlling and get attention by being sexually expressive? No, I don’t want to write a damn book and I don’t want to feed all of Libya. I want to strut
what little I got and have fun?
Now, I wouldn’t do that, mainly because it seems tiring and I don’t have the complexion for it. And I like writing and translating a lot more.
Which brings me to the gay.
I guess this isn’t gay, per se, but the number of conceptions you build upon seeing this image (WHORE- MANWHORE- GAAAAAAAAY- OBJECTIFICATION- *scream*) is one of the many ways we express our limits of sexual expression.
There’s a sort of subtlety, but not really, when we come across something like Channing Tatum backin’ that ass up, and some guy screams out, “That’s fucking gross! I don’t wanna see that.” Or, the many times my mom and other women would see a female strutting some which way and would just be completely grossed out and say terrible things like ‘slut’ or some such.
Of course, if you give them the stink eye, they’ll scream about their heterosexuality, but I’ve come to realize, to actually be able to voice my dilemma about such a defense. It had come as a super confusing intuition before, but then I actually realized:
Being straight doesn’t mean hating the same sex.
And it definitely doesn’t mean you hate the same sex whenever they are being sexual. Straightness’ only connotation to me is: you enjoy the opposite sex, probably within the parameters of the sex’s stereotype. (Females are smaller, softer, cuter. Men are bigger, muscular, handsome. Whatever.)
On the flip side, many people have wondered why I enjoy homosexual men so much. Many could understand my affinity for lesbians because 1) most who have asked me are men and 2) someone like me who also likes women would probably like to see lesbians/lesbian sex.
Again, intuition reigned supreme, and I couldn’t relinquish a straight answer. Most of the time, it wasn’t a question I found interesting and needed answering, but now I do:
Gay men have better sex, especially in yaoi.
Now, I’m not saying overall. What I mean is, the only lesbian fiction I’ve had the pleasure to read were- minus a few gems- porn for men, which gets real old, real fast. Or it was too much on the romanticism. I love romance, I do. By itself, no. I don’t like much by itself. (And neither do you, I think.). I can’t, like I said in Gay Porn and Other Delicacies, even take a lot of romance in gay fiction- like Maurice. Romance (and sex etc.) must be twisted upon by something else.
And whatever medium – book , film, tv- can have gratuitous amounts of sex and blood, but as long as something else is there, I can manage it. Fortunately for me, the kink genre in gay erotica has just that extra pizzazz for me to sit down and enjoy, even though sometimes it can hold back and I doze off.
And most yaoi I’ve read- whether it’s Alcide/Elric crazy kinky vampire-werewolf fanfiction or a saga about a pair of detectives, have much more of that extra than I can ever hope for. And as an extensive, intensive reader, I feel entitled to a bit of spice every now and again and, if I want, in every fucking cake I eat.
Really, I feel, just, indignant when anyone wonders why or even hints at “You read/watch that stuff?” and I’m like, well, what do you do in your spare time? Because if you aren’t reading yaself a book, teaching yourself a language, practicing an instrument, writing short stories of any any nature, crocheting a blanket- you know, such things that I do nearly every day, don’t talk.
The thing about sexual expression is that it takes over.
False! But, really, yea, that’s pretty much true. There doesn’t seem to be any existence to a person whenever they sexually express themselves, unless it doesn’t matter in that fashion to a certain person in the first place. When people think about yaoi, for example, gay porn is the only thing they’re left with (this process of ‘minimization’ occurs elsewhere as well- you know, like, when people complain about a movie and say it’s a ‘boy-meets-girl’ story, while completely ignoring the fact that the guy is a zombie in a near post-apocalyptic zombie-infested world and the girl is the daughter of ArmyDadDeluxe, and that an extreme form of zombie was posing a risk to them all. By the way, that’s what I heard from someone about the movie Warm Bodies. And I was like… Really? That’s what you got from that?)
Sex is a compliment to life, and while having sex around others not involved is frowned upon, sexual expression doesn’t come close to it. There’s no need to fear it, whether from your preferred sex or not.
Over time, my tastes have broadened to an extremely zesty horizon that many would not touch, and it’s come to my attention that I can’t relate at all.
I actually cannot really… I don’t think ‘understand’ is the right word- I get it. But whatever the wavelength of empathy I cannot seem to connect to is, I can’t do it with people who are 100% gay or straight. I have come to ‘understand’ those orientations as simple preferences, like how I will not go out with someone who is religious or has bad breath.
I would just like that other people who can realize preferences as real, they can realize preferences for sexual expression are real as well, and it may not be anything as provocative as say….
I’m dressing like this because I want the D.
But simply, I look fucking hot in this and if you don’t like it, don’t look.
Which brings me back to the gay.
It’s hot, beyond the the reasons I mentioned before, the dichotomy between two swell-looking guys, or cool-seeming guys, is pretty hot, and is often not seen in heterosexual fiction (No, I don’t think it exists…), and lesbian fiction I’ve come across hasn’t been beyond what I’ve seen (although I’m trying). Add in kink and supernatural and we got just crazy things to look forward to.
Oh, don’t tease me.