Well, guys, after another successful godless article and the loveliness of my sudden raging annoyance, my sister and I have to be back on board for ‘642’. Today we’re doing six prompts, and everything will be swell. Read #30 and #33.
Prompt #29: Describe five memories- events you remember really well. Then take one of them further.
#1 My earliest memory that impacted me was me waking up when I was four, or maybe late in my third year. There was a party the day before but I had asked my mom, “When is the party?” because I didn’t know two weeks ago from two years, nor could I piece apart memory from dreams. She had patted my head and said the party had already happened, that it was yesterday. And that’s when I realized how time worked.
#2 I was a junior at a academic camp at Vanderbilt University, and one of our last days at camp we had to do a presentation. Because of my outgoing nature in class and gatherings, no one believed me when I said that I wouldn’t do a good job at first, that I might puke or faint. They said I would do wonderfully. I tried to ride those waves of confidence, but, sure enough, I froze during the presentation and began to tear up, my eyes ran over.
#3 I as a third grader fought three kids at a park in because the bunch wouldn’t leave my family alone. The rumor was I won all of them. I threw a trashcan.
#4 My mom caught me reading yaoi when I was a sixth grader. I still remember the website: ukepile. I had a mental breakdown and went on a two mile walk to a school. It was around 9 or so at night.
#5 My dad hit me with the metal side of the belt because he lost his patience with me. He has yet to give a sufficient apology.
Furthering #1: I had recently shared this memory with my parents and older brother, believing that they would think it interesting to see something from my point of view that they may have overlooked. To my surprise, they remembered this incident quite clearly. They said I had cried for a couple of hours and was kind of raving like a lunatic, asking about time, and that for quite a few days afterwards, I was obsessed with the chronicle of events and asking what has happened. Mother even said that she felt really guilty because I was so upset, and anything that she tried to do- give me ice cream or watch a movie- I would later be like, “Did we have ice cream yesterday?” or some such thing. Man, was I high maintenance.
Talking to my tree (previous prompt)
Getting ISS because I left school
My brother was stabbed in the forehead by these twins and their cousin
My dog Sparky wasn’t actually our dog but he found us
My cousin and I watching scary movies and eating pizza
Those were some pretty good memories, except for the third bullet. My brother still has the scar on his forehead. Shamika and Tamika (yes, they are black), were rude little kids that for some reason we continued to play with them. They brought over their cousin and we somehow ended up in a war. My sister was gathering supplies to keep them out and my brother and I was guarding the gate. After I told him not to leave the yard, he left anyway and all three of them stabbed him with this big stick. I rushed to tell my sister and when we came back, my brother was bleeding. In the end we got trouble. My mom took my brother to the hospital. We got a spanking from my aunt and we still played with them because they wouldn’t leave us alone.
Prompt #30: A man jumps from the fortieth story of a building. As he’ passing the twenty-eighth floor, he hears a phone ring and regrets that he jumped. Why?
The excitement of the first seven floors wore off, and Jumper had surrendered himself to resignation. Everyone he loved too much has gone on ahead of him, and his job was highly intolerable of depressants such as himself. Sure, he had a few friends here and there, could of made a difference in Africa, but if he wasn’t happy overall, then what was the point?
When the twenty-eighth floor came by, he realized two things: he had twenty-seven more floors- hopefully he lost consciousness before then- and a phone was ringing. Unfortunately, that made him realize that he hadn’t turned in his two weeks notice.
It wasn’t as if his job was on the verge of firing him, but they were all like, “Perhaps he needed a break” or “He shouldn’t work too hard”.
Camron, who advised a psychiatrist multiple times, would be most disappointed, but probably not in the least surprised. Jumper knew he still might even blame himself, thinking that he hadn’t worked hard enough to convince Jumper to get some professional help. That would be mostly Jumper’s fault, too.
Jumper had made plans- now literally out a window- to have Camron meet Jennifer at a party he had been invited to. Jennifer was a next door neighbor and made it quite obvious that she would do anything in her power to get him happy again- even casual sex. Seeing how good a person she as, made Jumper think of Camron, and that he and Jennifer would be perfect for one another. And now, they’ll never meet.
And now they’ll never meet, and now they’ll never meet, and now they’ll never meet, and now they’ll, and now they’ll, and now, and now, and, and, and, and….
The twenty-eighth floor was Ms. Gertrude’s room. Three years earlier Mr. Gertrude and him were discussing her daughter’s wedding. The man was excited to be wed to the most wonderful, the most beautiful girl he had ever met.
“Did you guys finally decided what kind of cake ya’ll want?”
“Yes, we decided to get both.”
“That’s a little to much, ain’t it?”
“Nonsense, it will be the perfect amount for all the party guests.”
Three o’ clock pm. Just like everyday, the phone rings. No one else calls the phone at 3 pm sharp.
“Hi, Elizabeth. He’s here. Yes, I’ll tel him. Okay, bye. She wants you to be home as soon as you can.”
“I’ll get going now.”
When he got home, the apartment was trashed. Everything was either broken or ripped. He frantically searched for his soon-to-be bride. She was nowhere to be found. Immediately, he called the police. A year later, they have not found her.
Depression had got the better of him. His heart grew weak, his eyes dull, and his brain numb. Two years past and he couldn’t bear it any longer. He walked by the clock, glanced at the time, and walked on the ledge of the window. He jumped off his fortieth floor, and everything around him seemed to be slowing down. The number outside the apartments were clear.
35, 34, 33, 32, 31,30…29…Ring… 27. Time 3′ o clock.
~~~~(Verrrrry good! So much love!)
Prompt #31: Write a recipe for disaster.
1 Hungry Older Brother
1 Sleepy Dad
1 Haven’t-had-sex-in-three-days First Younger Sister
1 Bored Second Younger Sister
1 Bruised-pride First Younger Brother
1 Cigarette-less Mother
1 Lazier-than-usual Second Younger Brother
1 Manic Me
Someone might die.
1 cup watermelon
1 cup of shrimp puffs
2lbs of diced tomatoes
and a dash of spice
A disastrous recipe for my sister. Doesn’t sound too good anyways.
~~~~~(Seriously, I will die.)
Prompt #32: Your friend calls to say she saw you in the back of a police car yesterday. What happened?
“It wasn’t my fault, if that’s what you’re saying,” I said defensively. I took a very hard sip from my straw, getting nothing but airy drops of water.
“So? Why were you in a police car yesterday?”
“I may or may not have kicked a neighbor’s dog-”
“That sounds like it may or may not have been your fault,” answered Alina.
“-For the third or fourth time.”
“Not all behemoth dogs are puppies.” None of them are, I groused in my head.
“So, did you have to pay a fine?”
“I saw the judge today,” I muttered. “Couldn’t afford a fine, but that seems like a good time to give me community service!”
“Well, you like community service.”
“At an animal shelter.”
“Oh… You’re allergic to so many animals.” Alina made a sympathetic face.
“I’m considering another offense…”
She laughed, “Just tell them you’re allergic!”
“Gurl, I seened you with them Pos Pos? What happen?”
“Maaaan, Delvonte messed me up! He said that that drug will only get me high! Next thing I notice I was on a building! Can you believe it!?”
“But you’re innocent right?”
“Hecks, yeah! I didn’t do nothing wrong!”
“Don’t worry, Imma get him for you.”
“K, bye boo.”
Prompt #33: Tell the true story of a dramatic moment in your life, but weave in one secret and one lie.
We were on our way down back to Texas, having visited our Pops here in Tennessee where he was stationed. The highway was littered with rain and ice patches which Mama slipped on every now and again but righted in due time.
In an effort to get from behind a slow moving truck, as my mother was wont to do, she turned into the next lane. She would later tell us that she had probably pressed the gas instead of break. In any case, we went sliding over some black ice.
I had been on the verges of sleep, hearing older brother play a song on his CD Player that we as a family have sort of made a pact to never play, ever. So as not to pass the curse on to you, I shall keep the song’s title a secret. I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, and my mom had finally pressed the brake, which slowed the car down enough to have me suddenly slam my head into the rental car’s windshield, as I was in the front seat.
Unfortunately, she had braked over yet another patch of ice in the grass island, which made us careen into the incoming traffic on the other side. With all six of us kids screaming for our lives and Mama trying desperately to put us on track, we went straight in front of yet another goddamn truck.
“No, Lord, not my babies!” was my mother, while the lights blinded me and my voice was stolen into fear, my ears filled with the screeches of my siblings. I slammed into my mother as she turned and I could hear her slam the gas and we were tearing to the other side of the highway, a bit on the right side, before Mama finally got the car to stop on the grass.
No one was hurt. Scary as fuck though.
In the fifth grade, this girl and her friends was constantly making fun of me. They were talking about a guy named Big Worm and claimed that he looked like me. I was fed up with their insults and jokes so I grabbed the nearest thing, which was a thick literature book and smacked the ring leader on the back of her head. I was called to the principal’s office. I was crying and sniffling and feeling guilty for what I had done to the bully and standing up for myself and making myself seem independent. I knew they wouldn’t let me off the hook, but I also knew they really didn’t want t punish me because I was a good kid. After my suspension, which was before my last field trip, I had never been happier- I mean sadder about what I did.
Prompt #34: A cockroach at the Roosevelt
My response: (The what? *google* Ah.)
The men and women of the roof at the Roosevelt saw the roach. A lady calmly, though grimacing, approached the bartender, who called Housekeeping. This man had a decrepit jar with its lid and captured the roach. No one asked where its final resting place would be, and all forgot within minutes of making a couple thousand-dollar deals.
Ugh, I don’t want to think about today’s prompt. It brings a bad taste to my mouth.
Prompt #28: The meanest thing anyone has ever said to you
My family of eight was sitting at the table for dinner one night. With my parents at either ends of the table, someone saying grace with wholeheartedness, and Dad being meanly nitpicky about elbows and eating with our mouths full, my brothers and sisters able to discern the situation could feel a lecture coming on. We were kicking each other under the table to make sure that we didn’t override Pop’s sense of entitled complacency.
Eventually, someone did or said something wrong, or Pop thought of something to yell at us six kids for. I’m not sure how his attention got to me, specifically, except that it traveled from my older brother (the one from the elevator). Anyway, older brother came to my rescue, as usual, and my father yelled, “You might think you’re his favorite, but you’re nothing but HIS SLAVE! YOU’RE A SLAVE!”
And then….And then…
(AH FUCK THIS SHIT!)
I would say that the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me is when this racist guy called me a gorilla It may seem funny (NO, IT DOESN’T!) or not all that bad, but that really hurt. The best part about that is that no on liked him so everyone as on my side cheering me up. I sill got in trouble for kicking the desk at him, though.
(This is Sis!) well….. another mean thing that happened to me is when my mom, dad, and I was talking about relationships and I said I liked white guys ( I wouldn’t mind any other guys, I just prefer white guys..) and for some reason that ticked my dad off and he went talking about how ” white guys will leave you” or ” they will lynch you because of your skin” and some other nonsense. Which is weird because my parents don’t even like black people ( because of my other sister’s friends). Probably what you heard from my coworker (lol) stories about our dad, he thinks he is right and we should go by what he says. I still love him though, but that was just stupid…
(Pretty long post, maybe you should bookmark this? *conceited*)
Though no one may even see this, I believe that this is pretty important to get off my chest before I let go of it just because I don’t think anyone will ever see this. (Sword Art Online review, Links page, K Project review… Eh, wait just a little longer)
We tend to say a lot of shitty things, and these words don’t always come from times when we are acting like shitty people, or, in the case of some, acting like our shitty selves. For you latter folks, I presume my words of wisdom will go in one ear and and out your ass.
These are phrases that I endeavor not to speak, for various reasons on which I will elucidate, especially to 1) children and 2) people I don’t know. These are phrases that I hear all over the internet, home, school, eating at nice restaurants, chilling with friends, or dancing at clubs. Yes, they are that common.
Some of you assholes will imagine me too sensitive or ultra PC (dingdingding), and I will imagine that I probably won’t be able to have a decent conversation with you anyway. But most of you guys are decent, and will think. You may not agree but I’m sure once you read my reasoning, you’ll understand and think before you speak next time. Here’s a list I think you should think about
Such-and-such is overrated
We take such-and-such for granted
You’re too young to understand.
Today’s -fill in the blank- sucks
Kids can’t be kids
What is the world coming to?
That’s life/Life’s not fair
Ignore them, they’ll stop/If you don’t act like you mind, they’ll stop
He just likes you/They’re just jealous of you
It’s my opinion
1) Such-and-such is overrated.
I’m proud to say that I’ve probably said this four or five times my entire life. I’m also happy to say that this phrase is losing its juice because of its overuse by the hated hipster, and some people will do anything not to be seen as a hipster.
Still, before the word hipster really became a thing, while I was grade school, I still thought saying something was overratedwas pretty dumb. I first realized what it meant when someone used it wrong. A teacher in middle school said Harry Potter was overrated.
“I can’t understand why it’s so popular, just a bunch of kids doing witchcraft. Good versus evil is in any book.”
At that age, I was sensitive to church talk, especially church talk about Harry Potter, since I was ostracized at my church for reading Harry Potter. I was also a very lonely kid (but by no means a loner) who spent most of her time reading. When I came across overrated, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. How would you rate something overly?
When that teacher said it in this instance, I realized a few things: Overrated is mostly used with popular things, generally things that people take time to rate; over was like in overdone; and she was using it wrong (though I’ve hardly heard/read it used correctly).
What made me know it was wrong was her second and third phrases, which tends to ruin any statement on anythingoverrated. First, she gives a specific reason on why Harry Potter is overratedthat was complete bias. Though a bias could be a good reason that something is overrated, I’ve never seen when (and I’m open to suggestions). Bias on a overratedstatement makes it bitchy, the whining of someone who cannot share the happiness because they don’t enjoy the content. For example, I will never say the movie or book The Notebook is overrated, no matter how someone had raved over it while I skipped the commercials. I don’t like a lot of drama, and I thought the movie was boring, but I could understand why someone would enjoy it.
And, usually, we all could understand why someone would enjoy anything.
Second, she minimalizes the elements of Harry Potter, which a lot of people do to things they say are overrated. To minimalize is to simplify something to make your statement sound smart/cool/witty because you can’t think of a good bias or a good reason to say something you don’t like is overrated.
Another example would be Twilight in all its forms. If you seen the cool side of the debate between those who are debating, you’ve probably seen “Vampires who glitter? Ugh!” Of course, if you’ve read or seen Twilight, the focusing on glittering is nigh nonexistent.
Oddly enough, real reasons on not to like Twilight come from people who’ve actually read it and were okay with it (Bella is grey goo, Edward’s vampire=monster worry is a very tired cliche, it reads like bad fanfiction sometimes). Still, if someone says these things and calls Twilight overrated, I tend to watch out for bleats.
Also, crazy thought for everyone, Twilight isn’t highly rated as anything but to-know pop culture. Other than preteens who can text faster than they can spell, have you really heard anyone talking about Twilight in a manner that will distill awe like, say, Harry Potter? What I’m saying is, most people know Twilight is mostly drama fodder, sap, and they are okay with it.
What to say instead: Just state your case on why you thought such-and-such is crap, because few things are overrated, or, if it is indeed overrated, please put forward reasoning not steeped completely in a narrow-minded bias.
2) We take such-and-such for granted
You might be thinking, we do take things for granted! Yea, some things we sometimes do take for granted. However, we’ve gone a little crazy about this phrase. Here are some things that make it stupid to say: 1) We’re not really taking it for granted, 2) If we take such-and-such for granted, we take everything granted and the phrase loses potency and becomes useless 3) When it’s used as drama fodder 4) We use it in any situations except for when it really applies (in acts of actually taking things for granted)
For number one, we do this a lot for body parts, and it is usually used in conjunction with number three. Soften us up for people who lose their legs or born without eyes, especially on the news, which perpetuates this craziness.
Let’s put something on display for number one. I was watching some reality show, and the contestants had to fashion wigs for cancer patients who were bald because of chemotherapy. In the one-on-ones, a couple of contestants talked about how people usually take their hair for granted.
Now, I take my hair for granted. I don’t take care of it, but I’m not too worried about it going away. But a majority of people? Do we as a human species, as women, as Americans, as young people, as shut-ins etc. take our hair for granted? Most likely, you shampoo your hair regularly and brush and comb everyday. You worry when it starts falling out or you get a grey hair. You’re probably afraid of permanent damage to your hair and do plenty for its upkeep. Most people don’t take their hair for granted, or any body part. Do you know how many people are afraid of doing cartwheels- yes, cartwheels- for fear of breaking a bone? If you’re one of those people, I doubt you take any part of your body or granted.
Display for number 2- I was watching this bit on Beijing’s terrible pollution (and if you don’t know about it, don’t look it up, it’s pretty depressing) and the newscaster and people she talked to and the Chinese people were talking about how we humans take fresh air for granted. By definition that I delineated before, sure, we take air for granted. But if we take air for granted, we take everything for granted- red blood cells (think about sickle cell carriers!), white blood cells (AIDS!), non-itchy vaginas (women with overactive fighters in her tract), short penises (people are afraid of humongous dicks!)- and so on and so forth. Stop using ‘for granted’ for stupid shit like that.
Try any example above on drama fodder. People say ‘for granted’ to induce feeling that neither the speakers nor the feelers really care about.
Display for number 4- In most of the examples above, I don’t believe using the phrase ‘taking for granted’ is used correctly.The people with the problems wouldn’t care if people weren’t thanking their gods and goodness every second for their eyes and white blood cells. However, people with damaged eyes or AIDS would care or become annoyed if someone was putting in eye-damaging contacts or slathering on eye-crushing make-up, or drugging themselves into sickness or reusing needles.
In those instances, it pretty obvious and important to point out that those people are taking their bodies for granted.
For the Beijing people suffocating at their jobs, probably seeing on TV people being able to breathe even in the densest part of their cities is enough for ire.
What to say instead: Explain why something is important without the guilt trip or pity party.
3) You’re too young to understand
I’ve said this to younger people, cousins and brothers and sisters. I’ve come to realize that this is a shitty excuse for just about anyone who can understand the words for just about any situation.
First of all, remember the times this phrased was used. How many times did the speaker (or you) just feel too wigged out to explain? Something you didn’t understand fully yourself?
This is a dismissive phrase. It’s arrogant. If you turn this around, you would be saying, “The only reason I understand this is because I’m this age.” If you truly think that is correct in that instance, good for you! Most likely, though, the real reason you understand something is because you’ve experienced it. And you say ‘you’re too young’ so that cousin Billy doesn’t experience what you have already experienced.
The biggest example is when we try to explain relationships or sex to younger people. They ask, “Why do adults kiss like that?”
I would be rich for every time the adult answers, “You’re too young to understand,” with their condescending laughs and maybe a good pat on the head.
You might be thinking, well, they wouldn’t understand!
You really think that your five-year-old wouldn’t understand “It feels good”? We could even give more descriptive examples along those same lines.
A kid shouldn’t be learning things like that!
And that above is why this phrase is terrible. We like to make kids feel weak and stupid, which is how I believe they can grow up to be independence-seeking, privacy-mongering, authority-rebelling little assholes, because we say stupid things like they are too young to understand things to dismiss them from experience things too quickly.
Another example: My parents talked to me in detail about masturbation when I asked them about it. My mom told me not to do it because of sins and all that (but my dad made it clear that everyone does it and not feel too bad about it- times when I realized my dad wasn’t always an asshole) . Thing is, my older-by-three years brother and year-younger sister asked the same question around the same year I did. Guess what Ma and Pa said?
I confronted Ma after younger sister asked. She thanked me for not spilling the beans, and I questioned her.
“Your sister wouldn’t understand, she’s… not like you.”
Ma was particular about not calling me smarter or better than the other five because that caused bad blood, but I knew what she meant in my own childlike way. I now realize that she trusted me not to masturbate whenever the mood struck me (and it wasn’t until ninth grade until I got the hang of it), I wouldn’t go too crazy about experiencing it myself. (A lot of good that did for my sister though)
What to say instead: From 3 to about 11, do some changing of subjects, or say that you don’t want to talk about it, or explain why they don’t need to know at the moment (where they should instead focus their thoughts). 12 to 1, st4op being a jackass and explain. 15 and up, what the hell are you doing?
4) You’re/The World is too sensitive, politically correct
This wouldn’t bug me so much if people wouldn’t say this in defense of, say, referring to women as bitches or homosexuals as fags or putting out racist shit, which is usually the case when people call others sensitive or too politically correct. Not much here int this section either.
I know very few people in my life who are ‘too sensitive’. I know them well, thatthey are too damn sensitive- it’s obvious after spending a day or two with them. But if a bunch of random people get together to protest something singular with one protest in mind, you might want to rethink your bitchpress about people being sensitive or PC.
Another thing is that when people say these things they are ultimately aware why the topic is controversial. Saying someone is sensitive or PC covers their asses so that they can feel better about their foolishness. Even better, it fools the speaker into thinking the other person is foolish.
Come on, give me an example where PC would be too PC. It’s hard isn’t it? If you’re a decent person, you know it would be hard to come up with an example while at the same time not coming off as an asshole.
What to say instead: Unfortunately, I can’t think of something nicer that one can say without sounding arrogant or idiotic. If you don’t find anything wrong with the shirt above, you’re probably less of a decent person than you think.
5) Today’s such-and-such sucks
Fortunately, again, much of this saying is falling in the way of the hipster; and it goes hand-in-hand with overrated sometimes.
Still, I see too much of it outside of the self-strokefest circles that are hipster gatherings. Two types of people should never say this phrase almost 99% of the time they want to say it: people over…hmmm… 35, and people under 21. The older people because you just come off as old-fashioned, which is probably the case. You want to go back to the days of mostly manual cars? Uh, sure, go ahead and have all your gears and all the power over your car so that you can feel superior as you go do your grocery shopping at Walmart. Tired of supernatural romances? Go back to your realistic…. fictional… romances.
Hate today’s pop music? (Come on, you were waiting for it) Think it has no substance? Go listen to Elvis Presley.
Have you listened to Elvis? Maudlin love songs and dance jingles a lot of them. Plus, he sold his looks and sexuality, just like every other pop star today. I like Lady Gaga more than Elvis (and I love all of Elvis’ best hits, I think he was sexy during his sexy years, his voice is drool-inducing) but Gaga is clever and outrageous in a way Elvis wasn’t.
What I’m getting at is that today’s such-and-such probably hasn’t changed much, and people need to be fucking aware of their biases!
’90s kids that are so nostalgic about your childhood, shut the fuck up. Do you know how many cartoons and shows failed? Do you know how many ’80s shows are still playing on Boomerang? Why can’t you understand that it isn’t that today’s shows such, but that you overglorify or over-romanticize (would overrate be good here? I think I have a stigma against it…) your time, and ignore the glories of this generation? Did you know that Spongebob has lasted longer than Rugrats? I like Spongebob more than Rugrats. Though Rugrats is cute, I probably wouldn’t watch it again, or Powerpuff girls, and a couple other shows ’90s freaks captured for themselves like lost Pokemon of old.
Now, will I watch Adventure Time or Spongebob or Young Justice twenty years from now? Probably.
If you give me good reason to dislike such-and-such of today, instead of whining about your lost days of old, fantastic! Example, cartoons today are too adult. I’m not a fan of kids being left in the dark until they hit a wall, because they often make statistic teenagers, which so many people stereotype and hate anyway. Still, I understand the sentiment.
What to say instead: Admit you don’t like something, just say it. Better yet, give good reasons. They are out there!
6) Kids can’t be kids
I think you’ve gotten the point of leaving your kids dumb, then complaining when they are dumb/have no common sense, become asshole teenagers.
I would feel better about this if it wasn’t 80% of the time talking about kids being homosexual or learning about evolution or some such thing. Of course, I could stop reading comments on controversial topics about education and parenting, but that’ll be just silly.
Saying, “How would a boy know he likes boys at that age? He doesn’t know what he wants. Why can’t kids be kids?”
Now, will this person admit that he was ever bi-curious? Probably not. People who use this phrase don’t want their kids to explore, they want them shoved in a box until the adults are ready to mold them into perfect little puppets.
However, the other twenty percent goes to people talking about how we’re taking away extracurricular activities and liberal arts from the classrooms, though I feel that that has less to do with kids being kids than letting humans have an outlet on a rough life.
What to say instead: Be honest about your boxing until your puppet strings are properly wired
7) What is the world coming to?
Reasons why this phrase sucks: 1) The person saying this probably doesn’t have that bad of a world 2) People don’t know history or purposely puts it to the back of their minds 3) The phrase makes something truly horrible more about themselves.
I’ve never heard- in real life or television or even video games- where this phrase makes sense. For number one, I’ve heard so many older people say this and I’m just like, what are you talking about? When you go home, you’re going to watch the shows you have on DVR, eat a few snacks until dinner- which you might order out, have a soda with your dinner, and watch TV for the rest of the day. What part of your world is going in a direction you weren’t aware of?
For number two, my husband Steven Pinker would have more to say, and more articulately. In a nutshell, the world, and your life can be so, so, so much worse. Gays in the military and Boy Scouts will never touch the castration of male enemies. The crime (bad of course) in cities will never reach the genocidal wars of America’s early years. AIDS (though terrible surely) will never reach the disastrous child mortality rates of even the beginning of the last century. So think about your history and how you have descended from people who didn’t have running water, okay? Or how you can put frozen water in your slightly cold water while people die of thirst halfway across the world.
For three, this is just another jab at the paranoid freaks who think the world is just so much worse than something they don’t think about. They can’t really feel for the uprisings in Egypt or the school massacres, but they subconsciously know that they like to be a part of the society they’re in, and society in general cares about uprisings and school massacres- “What is the world coming to?”
About video games: I was playing Skyrim and passed a guard who talked about how vampires were attacking in the daylight and dragons were attack- “What is the world coming to?” he said.
Here I am, running through the village selling junk so that I can buy health potions so that when I fight vampires and dragons I don’t die. This guy had it much easier defending the village! Furthermore, from the beginning of the game, before I fought my first vampire or dragon, I was taking down those damn bears and whacking away mudcrabs and running from giants and bandit fortresses- Dude, your place is a shitastic place to live. Still, things are hard for guys like him. They just need to top complaining about it all the time.
What to say instead: Talk about how horrible the things are and leave it at that. Don’t make yourself look foolish with crap about a worse and worse world that doesn’t affect you.
8) That’s life/Life isn’t fair
Saying this to yourself (which you and nearly everyone else probably doesn’t) is cool, puts things into perspective. Saying this to someone else just makes you a fucking jerk.
Ma and Pa said this shit all the time- more on that later.
The first and second time this really burned was when I was eating more than I could handle at a restaurant at Johns Hopkins, first year. I was forcing myself to eat the rest and when one of my friends asked why I was forcing myself to eat, I said what I’ve always been told and what I’ve always felt was a good thing to have in the back of my mind when I was being greedy or wasteful or taking things for granted: “There are starving kids in Africa.”
I was under the impression that that was something innate. You did your best on things because others would die for that chance, and all that. What my friend said will forever just… haunt me.
“Well, that’s life. No need to force yourself to eat over it.”
That’s life? THAT’S LIFE?
You hear ‘starving kids in Africa’ and you say, that’s life? It’s okay to waste food because you can’t feed the starving kids and the kids are starving because that’s life.
On a less serious, projecting note. Computer crashed and someone lost three essays they was working on- what makes anyone think that saying, “That’s life!” would do anything but irritate the person further?
Projection: Roundabout three years after restaurant. Talking about The Walking Dead with same friend, and how irritating that they kept turning away people, and I told friend that I felt that turning them away was the same as killing them. She didn’t think so and asked me an analogy: Is not feeding the kids in Africa the same as starving them. I immediately said yes, and I will not make any excuses for it, not for myself anyway.
She continues to voice her opinions and I explain my reasoning: that how we are not helping them- how we are ignoring them- is no better and identical to killing them. Because we could help them, but we let them suffer anyway. If I was in their position, I would want someone to help me, and it isn’t fair.
“Well, life isn’t fair.”
99.9999%, the person you’re speaking to knows that life isn’t fair AND has heard this almost as many times as you have- it’s pointless, dismissive, idiotic, rude, and unsympathetic- so if you’re trying to win all those awards, fire away. Otherwise, proceed to bottom of this part.
Projection: “Hey, [sister] got away with this when she did it. Why am I getting punished? That’s not fair!”
“Life’s not fair.”
Get ready for the asshole who’s going to hate your guts and you will have to bend over backwards to teach them anything.
Projection: “Hey, [brother] did it. Why do we all have to get punished? That’s not fair!”
“Life’s not fair.”
General fuckery ensues (talk about bad blood!).
This one really hits close to home on a lot of different levels, but I want these things to be universal.
What to say instead: Say something that will alleviate the situation. “That fucking sucks” or “Here’s some ice-cream” works a lot better than some lousy adage about life.
9) Ignore them, they’ll stop/If you act like you don’t mind, they’ll stop
Dear sister recommended this and I decided to add it, because I loathed this as a child and I’m sure my sister loathes it now.
It’s pretty simple, and you have to be a real ignorant jackass to not see the problem with this. Yet, lovely, decent people say this entirely too much- and they know it’s crap, and they are working on doing something for their child/the child or whoever is in trouble. This is a deflection; this is evasion.
Because if you ignore them/act like you don’t mind, shit gets worse. Sometimes, maybe, they’ll back off. Most likely these assholes have found somebody new. But if you stay the sole big kid, dark skinned, girl with hair on her neck, snores when she sleeps, writes in her diary, eats alone- they have you pegged. Of course they’ll get bored, but why should this child or anyone else endure a week, a month, a semester of bullying? That’s life? I don’t think so, moron
It’s also victim-blaming. Somehow, the bullied is at fault for being bullied. This is sometimes the case- you should take your baths. Majorly, the bullies are asses who love to feel superior.
Saying this to a kid will be lying. Kid will get her hopes up, and will feel guilty because she isn’t trying hard enough. Then she realizes that it was a lie and knows that you won’t be someone who can help her. And if you can’t, who, or what, will?
What to say instead: Do something productive instead. Get on those officials about zero-tolerance for bullying that only comes in effect when someone commits suicide and it covers their asses. Do something!
10) He just likes you/They’re just jealous of you
Similar to number nine, except that most people don’t realize these phrases are absolute crap. Seeing as none of those guys, from elementary school up to high school, ever asked me out or wanted to hang out or talk to me- they didn’t like me. Seeing as none of those people share the same joys as me- they aren’t jealous of me.
I once babysat a third-grader who told her mom some boys were teasing her at school. The mom said, “Those boys probably just like you, honey!”
Imagine my disbelief, a decade out of third-grade, and realizing people still said this shit to their kids- not just my aunt to her kids or second cousin to her kids or long-lost half-sister to her kids- random people! These phrases were universal.
The child asked me and I told her to tell a teacher.
“The teacher said the same thing.”
WHAT THE FIDDLY FUCK?!
“I don’t think they like me, though.”
Of course, you’re not going to tell the darlin’ that, though they may not dislike her,they don’t very much like her either, or care about her feelings . But what fucking good does that do?
So I said I would talk to her mother. I flavored up the child’s distress to get the mom on it. Don’t know if she did, but I guilt-tripped her good, if her biting her lower lip was any indication.
What to say instead: Unless your child is has an obvious talent or beauty (that isn’t smarts- unless it’s another academically-oriented bully- no one is going to be jealous of your kid’s smarts, sorry), don’t feed them that trash that people are jealous of them. And that s/he just likes you probably only adheres to preschoolers, okay?
11) Just sayin’ (interchangeable with no offense)
This goes without sayin’. A lot of people say this, and a lot of people have rebutted against people just sayin’ this. If we were to equate the phrase to ‘just letting you know’, which is what I take it to mean most of the time, it’s still stupid to say.
“I don’t really like Mexicans. Just saying.”
This is a shut-up phrase, designed to make you look stupid for taking what they say/write seriously. It’s also pretty effective, but people are using it for the wrong reasons.
Are you going up against a truly sensitive person?
“Man, it’s 3 already?”
“What, you think you’ve spent too much time with me?!”
“Naw… I was just sayin’ it was 3 already.”
Still, this isn’t a totally innocent phrase, but it’s more acceptable than how many people use it. Above, the just sayin’ person is no doubt implying something when he makes his first statement, beyond letting the other guy know- there wouldn’t be ‘man’ or ‘already’ there if it was just a statement of time.
Most of the time, it’s with asshole comments about how ‘well, a lot of blondes are kind of dumb. Just sayin’,’ ‘He has a lot of sex, though. Just sayin’,’ ‘Black people take up the most room in jail, just sayin’.”
What to say instead: Leave out ‘just sayin” and take your verbal assbeating.
12)It’s my opinion
Kind of like eleven, but said more often, included with much viler ‘opinions’, and has a touch of arrogance that really provokes the ire in everyone.
Having your opinion and making it known does not miraculously shield you from your ‘haters’, nor does it make me or anyone shut up from shutting you up. Wuss out from under your opinion if you want to, it helps me realize your opinion isn’t worth anyone’s time, really. I’ll do better next, time, yea?
What to say instead: If you really want to shield attacks (though I doubt it, since you’re on the internet), say that you’re sorry to offend anyone, even if you aren’t. You’ll probably get ignored.
Have you finished this? Yay! Hope you learned something today! Tell your friends! Tell your friends with kids! Tell the people you know with kids! Yea!
I’m in a productive mood, yea! Review on Sword Art Online, later!
Prompt #7: Something you had that was stolen:
My response: So there was this one day in high school, ninth grade during the health education semester of physical education (Yes, P.E., you asswipes). A Friday. On Fridays a cart selling treats comes down all the hallways selling its stuffs, and I happened to have quite a bit of money that day and bought a lot of candy. I had gone back to my desk and put the candy in my bag.
A bit towards the end of class, our teacher was handing back out assignments and I went up and got my grade (Good grade, yes!), and when I returned to my seat, I saw the suspicious looks of my classmates and subsequently checked for my candy.
All of it was gone.
For some reason, I snapped. I yelled at them to give me my stuff back, and they, of course, lied that they didn’t have it. My teacher wasn’t used to me making a sound (I was shy and unpopular, yadda yadda yadda, and those kids were pretty stupid. I’ve actually seen some of them now, and they aren’t doing too well in life. Do they deserve it? I like to think they do), so he asked them to give my stuff back. They kept lying.
And then… And then… He just gave up. He told me that it didn’t matter; that candy wasn’t that big of a deal; that I shouldn’t be acting all crazy over some candy.
And those asshole classmates who all deserve to be chewing their stinky weed in their trailer parks, they started repeating after him. One fucker actually starting pushing one of my candies from inside his pocket, to show me it was there. I had grabbed him, trying to get it, trying not to lose this one.
But coach separated us and told me to calm down.
I broke away and blocked the door so that they wouldn’t get out. And the coach, the coach threatened me with calling the principal and my parents. So I left the door, tears streaming down my face, coach trying to make me feel better with empty, stupid words.
When I was walking back towards the bus after school, one of the guys came and gave me some advice: “You shouldn’t have left your candy alone like that.”
“So you took it,” I said back.
“No, man, no, I didn’t take it, but the others did.”
“You did, too. You are a liar, and I hate you.”
And I got on my bus and went on with the rest of my life.
Sister’s response: My money… by my own family. But that’s okay… because we’re family. -_-
~~~~~(Just to let ya’ll know, I type up my response, then my sister’s….Anywho…)