Because The Opinionated Man reblogged this and said it was interesting and for women to skim it, I thought perhaps that this would be one of two things: a joke or stupidly offensive. Alas…
I’m probably feeding a troll here (I mean, look at his tags- he’s in dire need of attention), but this guy seems ridiculously sincere. I believe there are few positive rules that one should follow for their gender (e.g. Men should do this, or Women should do that) and there are some negative things (e.g. Men shouldn’t fall straight into a split, Women shouldn’t jump a lot in a tube top). There are characteristics that many should follow, while many labels can be ignored completely.
You can get reasonably upset at his post or you can read it here, interspersed with my comments. These are mostly for me to solidify how I feel, but maybe through your haze of annoyance, it can help you condense your thoughts as well.
“Before I begin, let me just say that I realize that writing an article about the feminine ideal (whilst being a man) is about as silly as a woman writing an article about how to please a man. But that doesn’t stop those harpies over at Cosmo, so it won’t stop me either.”
It would be silly to suppose that your ideal is the norm instead of a fantasy inside your mind. I don’t read Cosmo, but from other trashy magazines, I’ve seen the trend that the ‘male ideal’ is a Prince Charming, and just as imaginary.
“In my former Pensive post, Gender Traitors, I mentioned in passing both that women had things that they were better at than men (albeit, far fewer than the reverse), and also that today’s women are not currently using their femininity to its fullest potential. This is the article I promised my faithful lady readers. I call you ladies, for the average American woman (read: bitch) would have stopped reading by now. If you remain, you are that fortuitous and hardy bunch that I refer to as ladies. Be forewarned though, ladies, you may indeed still possess the capacity to be offended by some things found in this article. If your reflection in the mirror offends you, work out and eat better. Likewise, if the truth spoken by a person (that happens to be a man) offends you, then you must change yourself… or ignore it. The latter, of course, only leads to ignorance – so choose wisely.”
I read bits of “Gender Traitors”. Lubu believes that women are weaker across the board- including mentally and emotionally. That is simply untrue (except for physically, duh). Inept men in media leads to inept men in life- untrue… Gender traitors- matter of opinion.. Oh, good point (and Lubu does make some!) CHILDBIRTH IS NOT A MIRACLE. It’s plenty cool- like lighting things on fire with a magnifying glass on a sunny day, except better- but it’s not a miracle. A little more on “Gender Traitors” and I see Lubu is one of those gits who thinks his opinions are truths, which happens to be a pet peeve of mine. Oh- the spellcheck doesn’t accept misandry. Um, that should be fixed.
On this quote, females who don’t follow his ideal are bitches. I still thought perhaps there would a be a punchline so I kept going. Oh, another spout of ‘truth’. If his opinions were ‘truth’, the rest would follow suit. Since they’re not, I must not do anything, yay!
“Western females of today (keeping in mind that there are still some South American, Eastern European, and Asian females that do not subscribe to this attitude) have long since adopted what I refer to as a “Princess Complex” – that, the world is owed to them for nothing in return except their presence (and not even that if they don’t feel like it).”
I love the exceptions, though all South Americans may be stretching it. I’m wondering what women he’s talking about.
“After a certain age, that PC dies down somewhat (though never fully dying), but is replaced with the horrendous habit of demanding equality with a man. It is not horrendous for the fact that equality is desired, but rather that it is never expected to be earned. A woman wants to be paid for working like a man – while still working like a woman. Men work harder, ladies. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll agree. For example, I can’t think of any female construction workers, bricklayers, or roofers. You know why? Those jobs are hard – as well as requiring a decent amount of skill. Women don’t want to do hard jobs – they just want to be paid the same as those that do.”
Okay, I never had PC (doubt many have, despite Lubu’s assertion that these are most of Western females). Most of the rest is lying. Have you read statistics about 80 cents to the man’s dollar and such? Nearly every one of them point out that this is in regards to women working the same job on the same rung of the economic ladder as men. Does Lubu really think that the female doctor of such-and-such small business is not working just as hard as a male doctor of such-and-such small business? Eh, probably. Probably also untrue.
He’s also doing another pet peeve of mine. It comes from people who can’t take criticisms and are resistant to change and amelioration (people who very much weaker in the emotional and mental capacities). They start placing the blame of disagreement of those that disagree with them, for various reasons. If I’m honest with myself, I’ll agree? That’s a matter of opinion and, thus, highly illogical. Plus, this presumption hinges on the rest of it being true- which it’s not.
Woman don’t want to do hard jobs- well, I told you about the statistics. To add, if a woman was working as a construction worker, bricklayer, or roofer- she should be paid as much as a man. If she is working ‘like a woman’, make sure to dock the pay of anyone who works like her, and further if they are weaker. Pay in brackets of work output- which is what we do anyway. The last sentence is utter rubbish.
“You can’t have your cake and eat it too, ladies. This applies to the dating world as well – you can’t expect to tease a man with the prospect of sex (Which, let’s be honest, is what dating is.) and have him spend as much of his hard-earned money on you as he would’ve spent just simply hiring a “professional”… and then you not expect to “pay out”. Don’t get me wrongly here, either! I in no way endorse rape or anything even approaching it! However, I do find fault with a bitch (rightly called) who only goes out with a man because she’s hungry or wants to see a movie – never intending to recompense him for his time and expense in the slightest. That’s fraudulent, ladies – and you know it! If you aren’t at least willing to kiss a man at the end of any date, then you should be willing to pay for your half of it! You’re not a princess. You’re not special. He’s not paying for your company; that’s what escorts are for – and guess what? At least they’re good at what they do.”
Well, dating is not about sex. Obviously. You wouldn’t have this post if it was. That’s out of the way. Several last sentences, I completely agree with. Women should, and should be expected, to pay for their part of the date, unless it’s agreed that he’ll be satisfied with sex or whatever. Otherwise, it’s fraudulent!
“Also, I’m not suggesting women sleep with everyone. That’s a quick way to get a reputation that you don’t want. All I’m endorsing here is honesty. If you’re not sure how you feel about a guy, “go dutch” (go out as friends)! If you’re paying your way when you go out with a guy, he should have zero expectations. When you’re ready for him to foot the bill, you should at least be ready to make out with him. Fair is fair.“
Date or dutch, pay your way how you two can agree.
“And if you want real equality, ladies, don’t expect men to open doors for you or give up their seat for you on the bus or subway. If we’re all equal, you can stand just as well as a man!”
Hear, hear! Seriously, though, if you open up the door or offer your seat, it’s mine, now, bitch! No, seriously, thanks. c:
“I make that final drastic point in order to segue into how it should be in America, and how it could be again…”
Shoulda, woulda, coulda…
“Ladies – I know this is tough, but – admit your weakness. In order to be treated as a lady, one must be weaker than a man. If you feign equality, don’t be surprised when all the special frills that go along with being a lady disappear. Me personally? I fight for the rights of true ladies. This includes preferential treatments such as: gentlemen rise from their seats when you enter a room, gentlemen will open doors for you and allow you to pass through first, gentlemen will make sure you are seated properly before sitting with you to eat or talk, gentlemen offer their seats to you on crowded public transportation, gentlemen will help you out with pretty much anything that has to do with physical exertion, your personal defense, or personal protection, and you are given priority seating in lifeboats in the case of a shipwreck. Yeah, I know the last one’s a little dated, but shipwrecks could technically still happen.”
If you’re trying to get these ‘perks’ you’re going to be weaker than a man, and a lot of women. But the point I would like to make is that the only way you would want to be this ‘lady’ is if you want to be weak. However, as soon as you become equal to a man in any case, you should be treated as a man in that case. I’ll take advantage of any of those perks if offered, but no skin off my back if I’m not ‘lady enough’ to acquire them.
“Men are typically a charitable bunch. If we see someone in need of assistance, we are generally quick to help out. It’s in our nature. Ladies, you shoot yourselves in the collective foot to pretend that you don’t need (or worse, don’t desire) assistance. The average lady is a delicate flower – as beautiful as she is fragile – and you will find your average gentleman to be an apt and willing gardener, who tends to your needs without hesitation. If you are a lady, that is.”
Humans are typically helpful. In any case, when you don’t need assistance, why would you desire it? And the metaphors are so silly. We’re not that delicate or fragile. Yes, we’re weaker in the physical sense. But what exactly can the average man do that the average woman is just not capable of? No, really. We no longer live in the times of knights and picking up your pitchfork when the need comes. In fact, we generally use guns for those sort of things now, so, like, what imaginary world is this that men are doing all the hard stuff and women can’t keep up? Of course, Lubu thinks we’re weaker along other axes other than physicality so… Yea.
“These are common traits you will find in a lady:
* She is quiet in public – but never to be stubborn – merely because she has the decorum to be reserved.
* If she has a man, she supports him unquestionably in public and private – both when he is present and when he is not.
* If she disagrees with her man, she asks about it in private, and never in a disagreeable manner.
* She is both chaste and chased, admired and desired, but is selective in who she gives her time to.
* She never speaks or interrupts when a man is speaking. She waits cheerfully for her turn, and her word is therefore all the more anticipated.
* She is delicate in word and action, thus promoting both the recognizing of her status as a lady and her treatment as such.
* She keeps her household – not as a chore, but as an honor – for she alone can turn a house into a home.
* She is attentive to both the care of and the instruction of her children, and would see daycare as an insult.
* She doesn’t work, unless she is single – and therefore without the care of a proper gentleman.”
After reading this I was CERTAIN there would be a joke afterward. This is what ‘ladies’ are. And, for Emperor Misogyny, this is probably what women suppress against their nature, yadda yadda yadda, and thus become ‘bitches’. I don’t want the perks of being a ‘lady’ nor do I think I nor other women who don’t want the perks should be thought of as less than women. I don’t think much of women and men other than different biological processes. Other than that, nothing at all.
But does that still make me a ‘bitch’? Am I a bitch to be as loud as a man in public, for the same reasons a man might be loud in public? Am I a bitch if I don’t support my man unquestionably as he unquestionably stops supporting me (Hey, by default, that works two ways, doesn’t it?). Am I a bitch to disagree with my man in public (in a disagreeable manner, anyone is a bitch!)? I’m chaste and unchased, so, moving on… Am I a bitch to think that we must all cheerfully wait our turn before speaking? Am I a bitch for not being delicate, at all? Anyone can make a house a home… I like daycare, and understand the necessity of it for anyone- especially the rich, though sometimes they need a nanny. Am I a bitch for working, and wanting to work and have somewhat of a career?
Well, then, being a bitch is looking good. And all people should desire to become bitches!
“If all the women in America were ladies (vice the majority, who are bitches), then I would have absolutely no problem with the divorce courts proceeding the way they do. If a woman were helpless in the job market without the support of a man, then there would be a precedent (as there once was) for taking half of a divorced man’s money. However, when the job market is freely open to both men and women, then divorce proceedings consisting of any more than “Okay, we’re done… who’s the best of us to look after the kids?” are based on nothing more than pure avarice and unbridled greed.”
Fuck, yeah, pre-nupt!
“There’s more to this, I know – and perhaps I can expound on it at a later time, but I really do need to work on my book today.”
Like The Opinionated Man– well, actually, even more than him, Emperor Lubu has some gold- “Everything is Useless”, “Begin Your Day”, “A Quick Thought From Your Head Hedonist”- good stuff I like to read. But to go on this drivel is much like how a scientist has two PhDs in something science-y but try to present Intelligent Design as credible. It’s not as if it’s contradictory, and these people owe me nothing, but to have some brilliant people waste their talents perpetuate the habits of those truly talentless. It’s maddening.
P.S. About the pic… Seriously, what does the average man do?