Tag Archives: feminism

Pledging Virginity To Daddy

As much as this sounds like some very off-kilter smut piece, this could actually be the chapter of some young woman’s teenage life. I put this title on the delightfully- ah, no, I can’t even speak of it in jest. It’s pretty disgusting. Let’s face it, we’re talking about virginity in the spine-chilling traditional sense of whether or not a vagina has been penetrated by a penis and these women are promising that their vaginas aren’t going to be penetrated by penises, and their Dads will help be their beacon or barrier or whatever against penetrating penises.

Ew.

Yea, I’m talking about Purity Balls (and other such celebrations of virginity, really).

Here’s a glimpse at this madness:

Screenshot 2014-06-01 13.45.33

And look at the simpering expression. Oh-ha-ha, yes, Puuuuuurity Balls. Let’s not take into account that a woman is only pure as long as her vagina is not penetrated by penises, and that it is important that a woman is not penetrated by penises in the first place. Let’s look at Daddy protecting Daughter in being pure.

I find this comes off as antagonistic and barbaric. Lemme give you some background on what I mean, because this shit didn’t come out of no where.

I work at a certain place as a cashier and sometimes, because of the long lines since customers believe they have absolutely no where else to go, customers can have conversations with each other. There was Younger Couple (with girl child) and Older Couple (who presumably has a girl child as well).

These people seemed absolutely normal, kind of awesome actually. The Older Couple was helping the Younger Couple with the ton of groceries they were buying, and I was scanning on.

The the man of the Younger Couple saw a T-Shirt the man from the Older Couple was buying. And he said, “I like that shirt!” and then he made a joke about keeping men away from his young toddler when she got older. I had been trying to read the shirt in between scanning but I quickly lost interest.

I don’t remember when I started feeling disgusted by the supposed need of fathers to keep young men away from their daughters, but it’s there, and not the topic of this post.

Then the man from the Older Couple had another joke up his sleeve: “Yea, my daughter called me. They had just had one of them sex ed classes and she was like “Daddy, you lied! You said that if I had sex before I was sixteen, the boy would die!”

“Oh, he still will, he still will.”

And they all shared a good laugh at that and I’m like

oh my god Kurt gif

 

“Yea, why can’t they leave that stuff for marriage?” says the man of the Younger Couple, and here I am thinking, like, isn’t this 2014? Then this man starts talking about how God wanted us to stay pure until marriage and that it’s in the Bible and that our bodies are temples that need to be kept sacred.

And the woman of the Younger Couple starts talking and it gets even more downhill, or maybe we’re underground now, I’m not sure. I do know that it’s pretty dark. Well, wherever we are, the woman of the Younger Couple says, “We’ve already got it all planned out for her.”

ALL PLANNED OUT FOR HER?! CAN’T SHE LEARN TO READ FIRST?

“We’re not going to let her date until her senior year of high school, just in time for prom, where she’s going to be home fifteen minutes after it’s over.” They all laugh, and I’m just like, why, why, whyyyyyy do  you have so many groceries? If this wasn’t the first of the month, you would be gone already!

Then the woman of the Older Couple is there to pipe in and I’m just thinking, oh, this is going to be terrible, because older women are the worse at judging young females because they are often chock full of bad experiences with men and sex and have judgement clouding their every decision.

So she says, “We’re not going to let her date until she’s sixteen and a half, and only for the vow. Our daughter asked one day, “For the vow”, and I’m like, yes, wedding vows. This is not going dress shopping, you’re going to go at it once and stick with it. No sex until the  marriage night, and no divorce.”

Man pipes in, “To a guy of our choosing. If he wants her, he’ll have to go through us first, especially me.” He flexes, they all laugh.

oh my god community gif

It’s like dating is this Game of Thrones sort of thing, and the daughter is a throne on which to be seated is someone’s junk and that someone has to go through hoops and barrels because being in love with the girl is just not enough.

I’m sure I don’t have to go into detail that the man-to-be has to be Christian and the like.

And the laughing was really killing me people, oh-ha-ha-ha, I love having this much control over our children’s lives, oh-ha-ha-ha, but it’s not really children. Why is only the guy going to be dead if he has sex with the daughter before marriage? Why must the woman remain pure? The lady is just a Barbie pristine and pure and then dirtied with sex that she can’t control with a mutual boyfriend. Utter bollocks.

And let’s go back to purity balls and virginity pledges.  Here’s a quote from the Generations of Light webpage.

“The daughters silently commit to live pure lives before God through the symbol of laying down a white rose at the cross.”

Mean Lady judging arrested development gif

 

It is impossible to convey what I have seen in their sweet spirits, their delicate, forming souls, as their daddy takes them out for their first big dance. Their whole being absorbs my loving attention, resulting in a radiant sense of self-worth and identity.”

Let me help you out with that impossible to convey feeling that you expressly conveyed. You have a daughter fetish and the thought of controlling her sexual exploits in your hammed fists makes your willy tingle.

This is what religion does to power-hungry people who are nervous about the souls of their kids.

I looked into the eyes of the child who was ready for a nap and feel sorry for the child. Of course, if she wants to be Christian (not like she’ll have a choice in the matter outwardly) but if on the inside she wants to be Christian, technically speaking, she’s going to let Daddy hold her virginity in her heart and let him scare down any boy that comes forward. But she doesn’t need a ring or ball or her father staring down at her looking into her pure, delicate soul to make it a reality. It’ll already be so.

P.S. That daughter of the Older Couple isn’t allowed to have male friends on Facebook. She’s sixteen.

P.P.S. They swapped non-denominational churches after the visit, they clicked so well.

P.P.P.S. The customer after the Older Couple was laughing at me the entire time!

“Blurred Lines” from a Wanting Mouth

From the Mouths of Rapists

Now, I understand the rapist reading. I overheard it in the African American center here at my school. The song played on the radio, and the people there were discussing how it was a rape anthem, non-consensual anthem, and the rest. I didn’t really listen, as I was reading Husbandwife and wasn’t really interested.

Still, in the back of my mind, I thought, That wasn’t how I heard that song at all!

While reading Lance Manion’s Facebook post about the astronomical number of people who view astrology/horoscopes on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, I stepped on another link that led to the first link above. And then I understood.

Still, that wasn’t how I think of the song at all!

Let me follow you through my logic.

[rap(e)genius.com, thanks!]

[Intro: Pharrell & Robin Thicke]
Everybody get up, WOO!
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

When I first heard this song, everyone in the car said I would like it, because I like very few songs that come regularly on the radio from the station that we often listen to. They also all knew I would love Ellie Gouldings “Anything Can Happen”.

[Verse 1: Robin Thicke]
If you can’t hear what I’m trying to say
If you can’t read from the same page
Maybe I’m going deaf
Maybe I’m going blind
Maybe I’m out of my mind

At this moment, I honestly have no idea what he’s getting to, though I’m sure it would be sexual, since this was the ‘mix’ station, and Robin Thicke. Obviously, there’s some miscommunication.

[Bridge: Robin Thicke]
Ok, now he was close
Tried to domesticate you
But you’re an animal
Baby, it’s in your nature
Just let me liberate you
You don’t need no papers
That man is not your maker
And that’s why I’m gon’ take a

And now I’m hooked. I was immediately thinking of all the people who think I want to stay at home and sew socks and have a pleasant romp every week when the man brings home the bread and maybe that pretty ring from Jared’s (btw, I don’t like jewelry). Or people who want me to shave my legs and do my hair to its prettiest degree. Etc.

[Hook: Robin Thicke]
Good girl
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
You’re a good girl
Can’t let it get past me
You’re far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted
I hate these blurred lines
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
But you’re a good girl
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me

And here I thought, yes, everyone thinks I’m just a good girl. Which is why no guy who wants some no-strings-attached casual sex would ever look twice at me. I’m just a good girl, whom people see and say: “God bless you!” or “You curse?” or “You watch porn?” (It’s not that I like porn, but that it’s me who likes porn because I’m a plastic good girl who will NEVER EVER break from her mold, until she speaks). 

And then there’s the blurred line: Is she a good girl really? Or would she be interested in getting her ass broke in two? To be more specific, just because she dresses like that and dances like that, is she really interested in some crazy one-night-stand, or is she a ‘good girl’ just having fun?

What’s getting to me about the rape reading (which is completely justified, mind you) is that he keeps baiting this woman. “Hey, if you wanna get at it, come and get it. Because I’m honestly at a fuckin’ lost and don’t know what’s going on. Shit, I’m making a song about it. Can you clear it up and we can have a fairy tale ending like in Taylor Swift songs?”

[Verse 2: Robin Thicke]
What do they make dreams for
When you got them jeans on
What do we need steam for
You the hottest bitch in this place
I feel so lucky, you wanna hug me
What rhymes with hug me?
Hey!

Now, here, although I don’t see any rape readings quoting this verse, is when I feel it gets the biggest rapist vibe. He’s definitely thinking about sex with her, she hugs him, and now he’s thinking that she might wanna fuck.

[Bridge]

She does!

[Hook]

But I’m not fucking sure, and I want to be fucking sure because it will be rape otherwise, and I don’t want to rape her.

[Verse 3: T.I.]
Hustle Gang Homie
One thing I ask of you
Lemme be the one you back that ass up to
From Malibu to Paris boo
Had a bitch, but she ain’t bad as you
So, hit me up when you pass through
I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two
Swag on ’em even when you dress casual
I mean, it’s almost unbearable
In a hundred years not dare would I
Pull a Pharcyde, let you pass me by
Nothin’ like your last guy, he too square for you
He don’t smack that ass and pull your hair like that
So I’m just watching and waitin’
For you to salute the true big pimpin’
Not many women can refuse this pimping
I’m a nice guy, but don’t get confused, this pimpin’

Nothing in this rap that I hadn’t heard in rap before. He thinks he big and bad, and she might want it, and he is going to talk about it until she agrees or throws a drink in his face.

I’ve seen the quotes of smacking ass and pulling hair, and I’m like, um, yes, please? As the lyrics suggest, a ‘good girl’ wouldn’t be interested. A ‘bad girl’ would. Is she a ‘bad girl’ or a ‘good girl’? But make no mistake, this is just one good night of romping.

[Breakdown: Robin Thicke]
Shake your rump
Get down, get up-a
Do it like it hurt, like it hurt
What you don’t like work
Hey!

No, what I don’t like won’t work. But he doesn’t mean it that way, not with the former line. You’re not supposed to like it when it hurts. When it hurts, it means it’s ‘not working’. But if you like it like that, you like it like that. And you’re, like, not a ‘good girl’.

[Verse 4: Robin Thicke]
Baby, can you breathe
I got this from Jamaica
It always works for me
Dakota to Decatur
No more pretending
Cause now you’re winning
Here’s our beginning
I always wanted a

Love this part. Now, we’re getting in those clouds and getting to it. She’s made it clear, and he’s freaking excited because he’s been singing for about three minutes on how he wants this woman so bad.

[Hook: Robin Thicke]

He’s always wanted a ‘good girl’. Whose never been propositioned to be ‘bad’. And now he and she are having a fun time.
[Bridge: Pharrell & Robin Thicke]
Everybody get up
Everybody get up
Everybody get up
Hey, Hey, Hey
Hey, Hey, Hey
Hey, Hey, Hey

No, I ain’t getting up, the song’s almost over.

[Outro: Pharrell & Robin Thicke]
Everybody get up, WOO!
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

Great song. Now, I’mma listen to Goulding.

P.S. Those people have some nerve to complain about this song when they listen to that station all day. Whose listening to it, if this song is what sets them off and NONE OF THE OTHERS DO?

 

 

On Misandry and Misogyny

Because The Opinionated Man reblogged this and said it was interesting and for women to skim it, I thought perhaps that this would be one of two things: a joke or stupidly offensive. Alas…

I’m probably feeding a troll here (I mean, look at his tags- he’s in dire need of attention), but this guy seems ridiculously sincere. I believe there are few positive rules that one should follow for their gender (e.g. Men should do this, or Women should do that) and there are some negative things (e.g.  Men shouldn’t fall straight into a split, Women shouldn’t jump a lot in a tube top). There are characteristics that many should follow, while many labels can be ignored completely.

You can get reasonably upset at his post or you can read it here, interspersed with my comments. These are mostly for me to solidify how I feel, but maybe through your haze of annoyance, it can help you condense your thoughts as well.

“Before I begin, let me just say that I realize that writing an article about the feminine ideal (whilst being a man) is about as silly as a woman writing an article about how to please a man.  But that doesn’t stop those harpies over at Cosmo, so it won’t stop me either.”

It would be silly to suppose that your ideal is the norm instead of a fantasy inside your mind. I don’t read Cosmo, but from other trashy magazines, I’ve seen the trend that the ‘male ideal’ is a Prince Charming, and just as imaginary.

In my former Pensive post, Gender Traitors, I mentioned in passing both that women had things that they were better at than men (albeit, far fewer than the reverse), and also that today’s women are not currently using their femininity to its fullest potential.  This is the article I promised my faithful lady readers.  I call you ladies, for the average American woman (read: bitch) would have stopped reading by now.  If you remain, you are that fortuitous and hardy bunch that I refer to as ladies.  Be forewarned though, ladies, you may indeed still possess the capacity to be offended by some things found in this article.  If your reflection in the mirror offends you, work out and eat better.  Likewise, if the truth spoken by a person (that happens to be a man) offends you, then you must change yourself… or ignore it.  The latter, of course, only leads to ignorance – so choose wisely.”

I read  bits of “Gender Traitors”.  Lubu believes that women are weaker across the board- including mentally and emotionally. That is simply untrue (except for physically, duh). Inept men in media leads to inept men in life- untrue… Gender traitors- matter of opinion.. Oh, good point (and Lubu does make some!) CHILDBIRTH IS NOT A MIRACLE. It’s plenty cool- like lighting things on fire with a magnifying glass on a sunny day, except better- but it’s not a miracle. A little more on “Gender Traitors” and I see Lubu is one of those gits who thinks his opinions are truths, which happens to be a pet peeve of mine. Oh- the spellcheck doesn’t accept misandry. Um, that should be fixed.

On this quote, females who don’t follow his ideal are bitches. I still thought perhaps there would a be a punchline so I kept going. Oh, another spout of ‘truth’. If his opinions were ‘truth’, the rest would follow suit. Since they’re not, I must not do anything, yay!

Western females of today (keeping in mind that there are still some South American, Eastern European, and Asian females that do not subscribe to this attitude) have long since adopted what I refer to as a “Princess Complex” – that, the world is owed to them for nothing in return except their presence (and not even that if they don’t feel like it).”

I love the exceptions, though all South Americans may be stretching it. I’m wondering what women he’s talking about.

After a certain age, that PC dies down somewhat (though never fully dying), but is replaced with the horrendous habit of demanding equality with a man.  It is not horrendous for the fact that equality is desired, but rather that it is never expected to be earned.  A woman wants to be paid for working like a man – while still working like a woman.  Men work harder, ladies.  If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll agree.  For example, I can’t think of any female construction workers, bricklayers, or roofers.  You know why?  Those jobs are hard – as well as requiring a decent amount of skill.  Women don’t want to do hard jobs – they just want to be paid the same as those that do.”

Okay, I never had PC (doubt many have, despite Lubu’s assertion that these are most of Western females). Most of the rest is lying. Have you read statistics about 80 cents to the man’s dollar and such? Nearly every one of them point out that this is in regards to women working the same job on the same rung of the economic ladder as men. Does Lubu really think that the female doctor of such-and-such small business is not working just as hard as a male doctor of such-and-such small business? Eh, probably. Probably also untrue.

He’s also doing another pet peeve of mine. It comes from people who can’t take criticisms and are resistant to change and amelioration (people who very much weaker in the emotional and mental capacities). They start placing the blame of disagreement of those that disagree with them, for various reasons. If I’m honest with myself, I’ll agree? That’s a matter of opinion and, thus, highly illogical. Plus, this presumption hinges on the rest of it being true- which it’s not.

Woman don’t want to do hard jobs- well, I told you about the statistics. To add, if a woman was working as a construction worker, bricklayer, or roofer- she should be paid as much as a man. If she is working ‘like a woman’, make sure to dock the pay of anyone who works like her, and further if they are weaker. Pay in brackets of work output- which is what we do anyway. The last sentence is utter rubbish.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too, ladies.  This applies to the dating world as well – you can’t expect to tease a man with the prospect of sex (Which, let’s be honest, is what dating is.) and have him spend as much of his hard-earned money on you as he would’ve spent just simply hiring a “professional”… and then you not expect to “pay out”.  Don’t get me wrongly here, either!  I in no way endorse rape or anything even approaching it!  However, I do find fault with a bitch (rightly called) who only goes out with a man because she’s hungry or wants to see a movie – never intending to recompense him for his time and expense in the slightest.  That’s fraudulent, ladies – and you know it!  If you aren’t at least willing to kiss a man at the end of any date, then you should be willing to pay for your half of it!  You’re not a princess.  You’re not special.  He’s not paying for your company; that’s what escorts are for – and guess what?  At least they’re good at what they do.”

Well, dating is not about sex. Obviously. You wouldn’t have this post if it was. That’s out of the way. Several last sentences, I completely agree with. Women should, and should be expected, to pay for their part of the date, unless it’s agreed that he’ll be satisfied with sex or whatever. Otherwise, it’s fraudulent! 

Also, I’m not suggesting women sleep with everyone.  That’s a quick way to get a reputation that you don’t want.  All I’m endorsing here is honesty.  If you’re not sure how you feel about a guy, “go dutch” (go out as friends)!  If you’re paying your way when you go out with a guy, he should have zero expectations.  When you’re ready for him to foot the bill, you should at least be ready to make out with him.  Fair is fair.

Date or dutch, pay your way how you two can agree.

And if you want real equality, ladies, don’t expect men to open doors for you or give up their seat for you on the bus or subway.  If we’re all equal, you can stand just as well as a man!”

Hear, hear! Seriously, though, if you open up the door or offer your seat, it’s mine, now, bitch! No, seriously, thanks. c:

I make that final drastic point in order to segue into how it should be in America, and how it could be again…”

Shoulda, woulda, coulda…

Ladies – I know this is tough, but – admit your weakness.  In order to be treated as a lady, one must be weaker than a man.  If you feign equality, don’t be surprised when all the special frills that go along with being a lady disappear.  Me personally?  I fight for the rights of true ladies.  This includes preferential treatments such as: gentlemen rise from their seats when you enter a room, gentlemen will open doors for you and allow you to pass through first, gentlemen will make sure you are seated properly before sitting with you to eat or talk, gentlemen offer their seats to you on crowded public transportation, gentlemen will help you out with pretty much anything that has to do with physical exertion, your personal defense, or personal protection, and you are given priority seating in lifeboats in the case of a shipwreck.  Yeah, I know the last one’s a little dated, but shipwrecks could technically still happen.”

If you’re trying to get these ‘perks’ you’re going to be weaker than a man, and a lot of women. But the point I would like to make is that the only way you would want to be this ‘lady’ is if you want to be weak. However, as soon as you become equal to a man in any case, you should be treated as a man in that case. I’ll take advantage of any of those perks if offered, but no skin off my back if I’m not ‘lady enough’ to acquire them.

Men are typically a charitable bunch.  If we see someone in need of assistance, we are generally quick to help out.  It’s in our nature.  Ladies, you shoot yourselves in the collective foot to pretend that you don’t need (or worse, don’t desire) assistance.  The average lady is a delicate flower – as beautiful as she is fragile – and you will find your average gentleman to be an apt and willing gardener, who tends to your needs without hesitation.  If you are a lady, that is.”

Humans are typically helpful. In any case, when you don’t need assistance, why would you desire it? And the metaphors are so silly. We’re not that delicate or fragile. Yes, we’re weaker in the physical sense. But what exactly can the average man do that the average woman is just not capable of? No, really. We no longer live in the times of knights and picking up your pitchfork when the need comes. In fact, we generally use guns for those sort of things now, so, like, what imaginary world is this that men are doing all the hard stuff and women can’t keep up? Of course, Lubu thinks we’re weaker along other axes other than physicality so… Yea.

These are common traits you will find in a lady:

* She is quiet in public – but never to be stubborn – merely because she has the decorum to be reserved.
* If she has a man, she supports him unquestionably in public and private – both when he is present and when he is not.
* If she disagrees with her man, she asks about it in private, and never in a disagreeable manner.
* She is both chaste and chased, admired and desired, but is selective in who she gives her time to.
* She never speaks or interrupts when a man is speaking.  She waits cheerfully for her turn, and her word is therefore all the more anticipated.
* She is delicate in word and action, thus promoting both the recognizing of her status as a lady and her treatment as such.
* She keeps her household – not as a chore, but as an honor – for she alone can turn a house into a home.
* She is attentive to both the care of and the instruction of her children, and would see daycare as an insult.
* She doesn’t work, unless she is single – and therefore without the care of a proper gentleman.”

After reading this I was CERTAIN there would be a joke afterward. This is what ‘ladies’ are. And, for Emperor Misogyny, this is probably what women suppress against their nature, yadda yadda yadda, and thus become ‘bitches’. I don’t want the perks of being a ‘lady’ nor do I think I nor other women who don’t want the perks should be thought of as less than women. I don’t think much of women and men other than different biological processes. Other than that, nothing at all.

But does that still make me a ‘bitch’? Am I a bitch to be as loud as a man in public, for the same reasons a man might be loud in public? Am I a bitch if I don’t support my man unquestionably as he unquestionably stops supporting me (Hey, by default, that works two ways, doesn’t it?). Am I a bitch to disagree with my man in public (in a disagreeable manner, anyone is a bitch!)? I’m chaste and unchased, so, moving on… Am I a bitch to think that we must all cheerfully wait our turn before speaking? Am I a bitch for not being delicate, at all? Anyone can make a house a home… I like daycare, and understand the necessity of it for anyone- especially the rich, though sometimes they need a nanny. Am I a bitch for working, and wanting to work and have somewhat of a career?

Well, then, being a bitch is looking good. And all people should desire to become bitches!

If all the women in America were ladies (vice the majority, who are bitches), then I would have absolutely no problem with the divorce courts proceeding the way they do.  If a woman were helpless in the job market without the support of a man, then there would be a precedent (as there once was) for taking half of a divorced man’s money.  However, when the job market is freely open to both men and women, then divorce proceedings consisting of any more than “Okay, we’re done… who’s the best of us to look after the kids?” are based on nothing more than pure avarice and unbridled greed.”

Fuck, yeah, pre-nupt!

There’s more to this, I know – and perhaps I can expound on it at a later time, but I really do need to work on my book today.”

Like The Opinionated Man– well, actually, even more than him, Emperor Lubu has some gold- “Everything is Useless”, “Begin Your Day”, “A Quick Thought From Your Head Hedonist”- good stuff I like to read. But to go on this drivel is much like how a scientist has two PhDs in something science-y but try to present Intelligent Design as credible.  It’s not as if it’s contradictory, and these people owe me nothing, but to have some brilliant people waste their talents perpetuate the habits of those truly talentless. It’s maddening.

P.S. About the pic… Seriously, what does the average man do?

Show Me

Before I begin, let me just say that I realize that writing an article about the feminine ideal (whilst being a man) is about as silly as a woman writing an article about how to please a man.  But that doesn’t stop those harpies over at Cosmo, so it won’t stop me either.

In my former Pensive post, Gender Traitors, I mentioned in passing both that women had things that they were better at than men (albeit, far fewer than the reverse), and also that today’s women are not currently using their femininity to its fullest potential.  This is the article I promised my faithful lady readers.  I call you ladies, for the average American woman (read: bitch) would have stopped reading by now.  If you remain, you are that fortuitous and hardy bunch that I refer to as ladies.  Be forewarned though, ladies, you may…

View original post 1,194 more words

Uta no Prince-sama or Why I hate harem anime! or Why I love harem anime!

I wish it was a 1000 percent of homosexual love. Man, that would be nice to see animated.
The male cast of Uta no Prince-sama
  • Rating: 3/10

    • 10= Orgasmic and will watch again, by myself
    • 9= Awesomesauce, high chance of watching again, by myself
    • 8= Fantastic, medium chance of watching again, by myself
    • 7= Great, there’s a chance of watching by myself
    • 6= Nice, would need inspiration to watch by myself
    • 5=Good, will watch again , with friend(s)
    • 4= Average, medium chance of watching again, with friend(s)
    • 3= Below Average, low chance of watching again even with friend(s)
    • 2= Ho-hum, no chance of watching again
    • 1= Bad, regret watching

K Project Review

Yo, I wanted to do a true-blue review. Why? Well, to let everyone know the opinions of a female, kink-sub, black, bi-polar possessing, pansexual, atheist feminist with an unholy penchant for gay males. I did something touching this with K, Zetsuen no Tempest, and Psycho Pass, but this is much better.

Here’s how the reviews go. I want to make it absolutely clear that my biases are just that. I generally hate when people say “This is terrible” or “Show was absolute drivel” without making it abundantly clear that those opinions are just that. When one is not clear, to me, it makes it clear that you take your opinions as fact in the real world, and your bias as a benchmark of human thought. I.E. You’re an egotistical fart.

So biases (and pet peeves) relevant to this anime with correlating points that mean nothing whatsoever:

  • Bishounen +10 (They’re pretty common)
  • Bishoujo +1 (Even more fucking common, but still likable)
  • Music/cal +50 (I love music… so much!)
  • Beautiful cross-dressing guy actually taken seriously +100
  • More guys than girls +20 (shounen anime have this too, but I’ll take as many guys as girls)
  • Elements of craziness to drive plot +10 (I like gag anime)
  • CHANGING OUTFITS  +100  (Any animated feature usually has the same outfits over and over. Love it when they change it up)
  • Pathetic, goody-goody, spineless-until-last-episode female lead figure -100 (Anime has a lot of this though)
  • Staple characters -10 (I don’t mind stereotypes though, until they start to have that Family Guy/Cleveland Show/American Dad vibe)
  • Cornier than a maize field, cheesier than a Kraft factory -50
  • Drama hype -70 (I like my fair amount of drama, but goodness…)

So, in the end, Uta no Prince-sama totals 61 points, which sounds about right. I’ll tell you why:

This lady:

She's a fucking puppy
Nanami, the team mascot

arrives at a music school that churns out idols and composers. The lack of realism attracted me, along with the boys and music. Shining Saotome, the headmaster of the school, is great comedy relief, is like the mentor for our main characters, and really puts things in motion. Nanami starts gathering her harem through her… charisma? Writes music for them, and the boys (and Nanami) eventually find everything they are looking for. It has some super sweet moments all throughout the show (which really did help me get through it), plus the makers gave flair to each character, even if you could have molded them in your local bakery, most definitely.

Ringo-sensei
Except him…
Shining Saotome
Or him

But, this show is  terribly corny and gooey and bleh… I got the anime in… *checks*…. May 2012. This show has 13 episodes, and it’s taken until today for me to finish it because I can’t take corny drama (or heavy drama) for more than thirty minutes a month. Except for the first six or seven minutes of the first episode (where they show part of the Princes’ debut concert), I didn’t touch the  show much.

They never fucking kiss!
Scenes like this made me go elsewhere for awhile

If Nanami wasn’t surrounded by beautiful guys, I wouldn’t have stayed… Oh… And if the show didn’t have such catchy tunes (the tunes are corny as well, but they do sound good)… And the aforementioned moments of sweetness, and there were some funny moments, too.

You may be wondering why I chose an anime that I didn’t really enjoy overall to make my first true-blue review. Well, this anime is getting a 2nd season, and you can bet your ass I’mma watch it. More music and bishounen- and Nanami pulled on her ovaries in the last episode (even if she broke down crying while doing so…Ugh), so she might actually have a spine in the second season!

Will they have sex?
More pretty guys!

Thanks to the lovely thornqueen (she’s on wordpress and has super interesting posts about Japanese culture and finds the most awesome pictures pertaining to her topics. She even made a post for guys wearing oversized clothing/shirts with bare legs, for me! Because I sort of have a fetish for that…) I am aware that these guys will be in the next season. Apparently they are in the game Uta no Prince-sama is based on, and they are called The Seniors. More gingerbread men? I don’t know, but they look weird and hot.

Now, there’s enough bishounen to have me living on BL vibes for quite awhile, for any other anime. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of fanservice towards BL, and the unrepentant fanservice for drama overshadows mostly everything. They tried, I saw that. The six guys up top are paired together in dorm dorms, and two of the pairs know each other so the feels are strong between them. But… Not strong enough, and definitely not stronger than their feels for Puppy blob.

Oversized shirt and leggy legs, yumminess
Shinomiya…And Shinomiya

Thanks to thornqueen, I might be able to get through the second season with some fanmade BL pictures, which I never looked up because I couldn’t take Uta no Prince-sama seriously for BL. In the series, this guy named Shinomiya- who likes cute things (like his roommate)- is generally fluffy and adorable, until he takes his glasses off, or loses them, and turns into an ill-tempered badass that needs more fucking screentime. There’s plenty pictures of this selfcest (yes, that’s a thing, and it’s hot, I tell you), plus the regular ‘couples’ (or the pairs in the dorms), plus pictures of The Seniors. So, I’mma go for this, because I really like music.

And it’s pretty, dammit!