Tag Archives: humanity

I met a human insect.

Something made me pause today… A bedbug (pest that we’ve been fighting for awhile, though t’s pretty good now) was on my hand while I was on the computer. They like my laptop for some reason and come out of the metalwork at specific times. Specifically when it’s a pleasant temperature, not too hot or cold, when I’m still for long periods of time like when I’m reading, and only at night.

But this bedbug was on my hand. It’s hot as hell in my room, I’m checking several things before settling down to read this very good ebook called Evenfall and thus my hand is moving erratically, and it’s in the middle of the hot-ass day.

I’ve been dealing with bed bugs long enough to recognize their different stages- like hungry (instantly painful) infancy to slow but steady (and painful for a longer bit of time) adulthood.

This was a teenager, and it was hungry. It was big enough, but its body was clear and strained, flat.

No, this bedbug wasn’t hungry. It was starving, and it was desperate, and it was willing to risk its life to get some of my blood.

And, for a moment, I thought of letting it do so. But I probably killed two of its relatives last night- two loners, one in the living room and another in my room under the chair, the first an adult that I ignored because I didn’t feel like turning on the light and that which slowly ate at me before I decided to tear it apart in a napkin, the second younger which I could have ignored, but it had bitten me in a sensitive spot and while I was reading Evenfall.

I had told my mom earlier just today that  I was feeling sorry for these things because they were hungry, but at first I despised them with a passion and crushed them and drowned them and melted them with pesticides until I could sleep well.

And then this one, this starving creature crawls on my hand in broad daylight.

I smooshed it into my hand in raging instinct, but it was so thin it could still scuttle away. I grabbed it and tore it, remembering I ate a large bowl of cereal today, and wondering if I would ever be a pest for one meal. Thinking as I checked if it was still moving, that I had probably bothered hundreds with my endeavors over the years, and this guy was dying, dead doing something so incredibly stupid, so incredibly pathetic as disregarding its most helpful of evolutionary traits.

How often had I done the same?

No… I’ve never done the same. I’ve never been at risk (well, some could make the argument that I have, but the guys didn’t kill me, so it’s not a true comparison, I don’t think).

Will I ever do something that went against all I’ve been taught?

Ah, something crawled on me again. But I checked. It was a sugar ant. I wiped it off and wrote this in.

Did I do the right thing? I could swipe an ant because I knew it wouldn’t bother me, wouldn’t bite me and poison me and breed hundreds of others to terrorize me.

Have I done that to all things… All things living and breathing?

What was it thinking.

After “Home” in “The Walking Dead” or I like the Governor! or Survival Sucks!

Alright, so I watch “The Walking Dead”. It’s one of the best shows I’ve watched. I would read the comic but it… doesn’t look very good, art-wise. Shallow, I know. But I’m not going to spend money on art I don’t like.

Anywho, the show is great. It’s especially nice to see Rick have some really bad flaws, seeing as his wife [SPOILER]was[END SPOILER] one of the most flawed characters on the show. Well, not flawed, really, just… annoying. Maggie and her sister aren’t that much better than Lori, Carol’s getting better, and Andrea and Michonne are marriage material, of course.

What I really  liked about this episode was that there was no hang-ups on idiotically selfish choices.  How many times have people chosen to do something terribly selfish for the sake of ‘survival’?

I can understand the whole survival thing, I can. I’ve tasted a drop of it when hungry kids from the neighborhood would come to our house for snacks and my dad would tell them no, going on about survival and his money and all that. And it was acceptable then because those kids would (presumably) get something to eat… eventually.

But if you’re surviving the zombie apocalypse by looting nearby towns what, exactly, does it hurt by letting people in. I can understand not letting in people you don’t trust, but the first time we get a strong case of this was at Herschel’s farm, where, you know, there was little cause for distrust, what with Carl and them looking for Sofia and them helping out with everything. If Herschel really hated Shane at first, that would be perfect, but that wasn’t the case.

If they tried hard enough and wouldn’t turn away everyone, they can get something like Woodbury down.

But, hey, you might say, Woodbury? It’s a terrible place. Wrong! It’s a wonderful place, the best fucking place in what we know of The Walking Dead world. The Governor’s terrible, and the zombie games are terrible, and it would be best if everyone knew how to kill walkers, but if you think hopping ’round town with Michonne or mostly locked up in a jail is better than Woodbury- first of all, you’re lying to yourself, and second, you’re wrong.

Whatever is wrong in your eyes about Woodbury can be corrected by Andrea, and things will be great. If she gets the chance…. I don’t know if it is explained more in the comic, but the governor seems to have been a nice guy before (maybe before Penny died?) and helped all those people…

You see, the whole turning others away or killing others for survival is reasonable in my mind if and only if 1) You think you’re a bad or selfish person and that’s what you want 2) You’re in danger with those other people.

Since Rick’s group isn’t like that, and most of Woodbury’s sheep aren’t like that- they have no reason. For survival? Okay. Think about it, how long will that thinking hold? Killing or turning away people (which, to me, is the same as killing them) isn’t going to have you surviving long. Like, what are you surviving for? When will you start accepting people again? When your kids are half-grown and you’re ailing with old age? Too bad your kids learned to turn away people.

It especially boggled my mind with Tyreese’s group and that kid and man starting on about survival and taking over the jail. I was yelling, “THERE ARE FOUR OF YOU. ONE WOMAN- Just what are you living for? What’s so great about living longer if you that’s all that’s left?”

Oh, but to have Daryl on the show, it is fantastic. It gives me hope. It was pretty romantic (incest is best!) for him to stay with Merle. I was looking forward to him realizing Merle is pretty much an asshole (though this episode has him seeming to realize it as well, and I’m a sucker for leaf-turners) , but I had been hoping that he wouldn’t abandon Merle without a strong push. And he got it this episode. Daryl, who will help people in need without question and without need for compensation, Daryl, who will give his brother a chance, Daryl, who blamed himself for Sofia, Daryl, who mourned Carol, Daryl who knew Rick did right by him and would stand by him. Lovely!