Bible, Day 21

Summary: Abraham is ‘tested’, Sarah Dies, Isaac marries Rebekah (a woman’s name so soon!- but her father does come first!)

22:17 – I THOUGHT THIS WAS ALREADY PROMISED? And we know Isaac was old enough to understand because he asks in verse 7 where the lamb at? He doesn’t feel this was a pretty fucked up thing for Mr. Lordy Lord to do??? As Family Guy put it, Isaac should be like “What the fuck was that about?”. “God was just testing me,” Abraham says- uuuummm and Isaac??? And here we have a guy saying that god told him to do it and he attempts and is stopped by an angel (not god? We know God can speak so what’s up with these angels playing messenger? I don’t understand whyyyy). Doesn’t tell anyone and he lies to Isaac? And yet somehow we’re sure this doesn’t happen anymore. It’s the devil speaking now?

Did we forget about Job? How close is Job and Genesis? I looked it up, not close at all in a regular Bible. I wonders why.

23- Sarah dies and is buried. Where are the servants buried? Has no one died in all the time we’ve been following Abraham? I think we’re missing out on some important Bronze Age burying rituals. I do find it sweet that Abraham went out  of his way to pay for a burial site.

24:16 – “The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her”… That’s what a virgin means in this time. Also, only thing important about this girl is that she was beautiful and a virgin, apparently.  And that she ran water for the servant and the camels. I’m not going to say anything about servants. This guy seems happy and sincerely wants to do well by his master.

:24– Let’s find out where she is in the family tree in regards to Isaac. Milcah is Abraham’s sister-in-law, making her Isaac’s Aunt-in-law (is that a thing?). Milcah gives birth to Bethuel who is Rebekah’s father. Rebekah is Milcah’s granddaughter.  Bethuel is Isaac’s cousin. So Rebekah and Isaac are, what, second cousins? Cousin’s once removed? I think we’re okay in the whole scheme of things.

Can anyone tell me why this servant had to make this journey to find a wife for Isaac? What was wrong with the Canaanites? This a preservation of line thing? I think this is what made people follow ‘royalty’ for so long. And can’t no one blame royalty for marrying within the family – this is obviously allowed. Is incest a sin? It really shouldn’t be.

40-41 – What angel? It made the trip but didn’t say anything? Obviously the god magic got the servant and Rebekah to meet, but what about the angel who was to help? WHY DOES GOD NEED ANGELS??? Also “you will be released from my oath even if they refuse to give her to you”. This giving and getting of women really irks me. Before, they talked about her refusing to leave. Guess that doesn’t matter now.

42 – ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO RECAP WHAT JUST HAPPENED. Yes, yes he was.

58 – Oh, her opinion does matter. Good good.

65 – Veil?

67– “…and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” Uhhh, how sweet?

Good thing Genesis is made of multiple stories unlike a certain SOMEBODY’S story that went on far longer than it should have.

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