A Day 10, and Bible class, and poor gorilla (I guess), and ridiculously high standards for life

I don’t really know if I’m tired of something until I have it before me in neat little letters, and I get angry. When I’m bored, I get upset, some deep rage wells up inside me and my mind is pummeled with thoughts like how there are better, newer, more awesome things to do. Or even, there are older, funner, more entertaining things to do, but here I am in this quicksand of a number. Fortunately, reading the Bible isn’t one of the adulting things that I’m more or less forced to do, and so I took (and continue to take) a break, and then I came back to the good book and found myself slowly getting annoyed. (that’s why it’s a continuation) So, let’s get with some interesting things: the new main picture up there.

Whenever I see a class about the Bible I see this :

bible-study for real

Especially in the middle of Crapsville Tennessee (aw, that’s not nice, but this is not a place for people who want a fast, constantly changing life- granted, most places aren’t!)

But this little snippet for a Bible class makes the worry fly away  as it makes sure to point out the class would not consider the Bible as some sort of spiritiual guide, but a collection of books. Repetitive books with an interesting way of saying things- that gets old face if nothing is happening and there aren’t any clever wisecracks every so often (like in Shakespeare, you know?).

Another thing to point out is that this class will examine the good book as it has been passed down through the oral tradition and I find to be of grave importance. Many stories written today have been passed down orally, the most famous of them being Grimm’s fairy tales or Greek myths, and the singular case of Beowulf. Countless others that haven’t made it to the mainstream are just as fictional, and just as orally shared as the books of the Bible, and yet the Bible is seen is true. I’m so confused on how this happened really. Egyptian and Greek myths have been phased out so how has the Bible (and others) been able to stay?

Before listening to my reasoning, you might want to research a bit for yourself, but I always think about all the great wars and all the killing of myriads of people and you can see why some religions have stayed longer than others. When you’re about to be killed, that half thought oral tradition may not seem so important. And when you’re doing the killing (and the subsequent convincing) you might let it get to your head that it’s your god speaking, and not just your sword.

I would love to see how the Bible has influenced so much writing. Reading the English Romantic’s poems can be a chore if you’re not familiar with Christian myth, as well as Greek and, rarely, Egyptian. This class is an English major’s opportunity’s for great credit and good learning.

kid and gorilla

Okay, beautiful gorilla, so sad it died… Well, I’m never really sad when an animal dies, especially an animal I never knew about, unless there was suffering. But I can see how it would upset many people. And I’m just going to bypass Mrs. Gregg’s thanking of God who helped the proper authorities kill the animal (instead of god catching the kid or speaking in his ear not to jump or whatever) and get to the point that is getting me from the reactions of some people.

I’m homeless at the moment and profoundly bored and alone, and while people can get kind of annoying (what is it with people repeating themselves? Over and over and over again? Yes, I got it, you said fuck you to your manager, awesome. Great! You work 12 hours a day and it sucks, gotcha. Yes, I heard you the first three times you said that he wants to marry you- PLEASE ZEUS MAKE IT STOP) kids tend to hold  my attention, because, I suppose, my brain knows they don’t know any better and so their repetition is seen as super cute. And they have small attention spans, so I know the topic will change eventually.

So I go to the free food event and we get to talking about the kid and the gorilla. None of them really care about the gorilla, HOWEVER, they think the family (especially the mom, because apparently it is understood the dad isn’t there? Because the kid is black? Or maybe moms are the only one to be watching the children?) should pay for the damage done (i.e. the cost of a gorilla). First of all, that big guy was about  the worth of a okay-driving car, and you want to put that on top of the heart attack the family involved probably felt after seeing the kid fall, first of all, and then the extreme uncertainty when Boo-boo got a hold of him. Awesome.

But what REALLY upset me was that all the people with kids at the free food event lost track of their kids. Constantly. And all day everyday as I traipse Clarksville, I hear mothers and fathers and guardians calling on their little ones to come back to the three foot radius from the main adult. And anyone who says that the parents should have been looking after the kid, well NO FUCKING SHIT. You think they don’t know that? You think they make it a habit of just forgetting their kids and letting them walk on their own? You don’t think it was just a mistake? It wasn’t until you signed that petition to ruin their lives that they realized, that, oh, Lord! They never watch their kids!

Get the fuck outta here. Yes, a poor animal died, because you don’t want to leave it to chance that the animal would or wouldn’t attack, and the many times a guardian loses track of a kid for two-point-two seconds leads to the kid falling into an enclosure for the animals natural habitat so they can do gorilla things  (I’m hearing that a lot too, should have let the animal do what it does and he prolly wouldn’t do anything? As soon as he bashes a kids brains out, what sort of song would you be singing then?)

at least you have a job

Okay, as a homeless person and a person with a disability, and people see me looking generally not as happy as others, the platitudes that seem to rest on everyone’s breasts seem ready to be quickly shared. Because that’s what people do I guess.

One of the platitudes that are driving me fucking bonkers is “Well, at least you have a job”. I put this in le google d’image, and while most of the pictures are saying you should be grateful for the life you have and the job you got, this one was in the top three, and for good reason.

Okay, “at least you have a job”, “at least you’re alive”, “at least you have a place to sleep”. I know many people like to use the useless fact that we take things for granted  against people who are trying to do better for themselves, but I’m not one of those people. Sure, I’m happy I have a job and that I’m alive and I have a place to sleep, but that doesn’t mean I should be happy about not having a place to stay during the day, not enjoying my job even a little bit (especially when I used to, a lot), or that I don’t feel my life is really worth living. I have high standards for life: I want a place to stay during the day. I enjoy cooking some of my own food and not being at the complete mercy of someone else to feed me, especially in the morning, for, at the place I’m staying, you’re not allowed to keep food, and they wonder why people break the rules when come morning there’s Chinese food. HEY, AT LEAST YOU HAVE FOOD TO EAT.

Great, and heartburn. All goddamn day.

I mean, shit, sorry for standards. I mean, damn, you can ask a lot of people who know or have known me personally- I don’t really have high standards. But I know my fucking limits. Working eight hours and my break falls entirely on the fact that my manager remembers I need a break. I can’t leave until someone comes in after me- and they say to me, hey, at least you got some extra hours on my paycheck.

I know my shitty pros and cons, okay? I’m 25 years old. I know I don’t know everything, but I’m the most knowledgeable about myself. And anyone who doesn’t know exactly how I think and feel, or how I’ve thought and felt, don’t get to say how much I can take. I’ve had a lifetime before meeting people, so cool it.

OMG, on Thursday, I told a customer, I’m fine (and I really thought I said it in a cheerful way! I need to hear my voice recorded…) and she was like, ‘Oh, bad day?’ Me: *laughlaughlaugh* More like a bad month *laughlaughlaugh*

Her: Well, it’ll get better, don’t let the little things weigh you down.

Little things like a vandalism charge that really shouldn’t exist, being stuck in the deadest city in Tennessee, and being homeless?

But things would get better. At least by June 27th.

June fucking 27th.

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