Bible Day 2!

We’re almost to the part where I always stopped reading. It was just so… Like, what the fuck is going on… Why does this matter? Is this going to have important repercussions later on? Would we have to care? WHY IS IT HERE! WHY. Also, ratings at the end because it will be easier to refer to them when I have already written my opinions verse by verse.

Today, we have Genesis 4:1-5:32, 5:1, 1 Chronicles 1:1-4, Genesis 6:1-22

Gotta point out this is the New International Version of a chronological Bible. Which is why Chronicles pops up here.  Let’s start!

Ok, 5, God did not look with favor upon Cain’s offering. So perhaps he was OK with Cain’s offering but favored Abel’s, right?

Can God talk to humans right now? Is this what’s happening? Can they see his face? Is he speaking? Are they going deaf or going blind? I always question why don’t any gods, especially gods that want relationships with humans, don’t make themselves readily available- because they’ve obviously been able before.

And then Cain kills Abel and God asks where is Abel? Which is similar to when Adam and Eve were in the garden and somehow these two naked people were able to hide from a god in his own garden?

And then Cain is punished for murdering, but in two pages God plans to destroy most of the world. THEN Cain is cursed, and his people are cursed, and people who would kill him be cursed. What’s up with this? Why the raining down of punishment through the generations. Seriously, who was there to mourn Abel? There were, like, four people alive at the time.

17– Cain’s WIFE? And where the fuck did she come from. There is Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel. Was it Eve? Funny how they don’t have a name. There is NO reason there is no name- it is a nuanced decision to omit this and it ain’t foolin’ nobody!

Now that I’ve had some time to think it over, I remember how the Bible, like  most stories, were orally transmitted and something about oral transmissions (of words) makes people make sure the story adds up- thus we have the names and who from whom to whom were the kids (mostly men).

23– Okay, before it was talking about Lamech marrying two women and Iiiiii’m thinking polygamy- but what if one died and he married the next? But nope! Here Lamech is speaking to his wives (and I can only surmise it is at the same time). So there was a time that God was ok with polygamy. So. What’s up.

26 – Apparently these guys start praying to God or preaching about him because… some people might not know? Whatevs.

5:1 – Aren’t we all of Adam’s line????????

6:1-22 – Here are some important points:

  • A quick caveat for how long people live- to 120. But that wasn’t really possible for most people even today. But this is a great plothole to come back and correct.
  • There were Nephilim (“and also afterward”)
  • 6:6 “The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth”- Why is he upset? Was he hoping something different would happen? Didn’t he know this would happen?
  • Was Noah really the only good person? THE ONLY ONE? I doubt it.
  • We all know the ark is bullshit. It’s even funnier because the goatmen believed that the sea animals were safe (at least, that’s what I suppose on why Noah wasn’t tasked to saving the creatures of the sea). But there is a reason why there are saltwater and freshwater fresh, and animals that go between the water and the land. If they weren’t on the ship, the weird ass water would have killed them. AND, what did these animals- from lions to coyotes- eat? There weren’t fridges here, and I doubt they could have kept ice- in fact, they wouldn’t have known that keeping some food cool help keeps them fresh. So how did they have enough food for everyone?

 

Plot -3, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t the last of the Beowulf-Odyssey-sounding naming of names

Credibility – 1, I don’t think anything would have more than a 1… We’ll see

Reliability – 4, it seems as if God REALLY doesn’t want you to kill people for your own gain (Arya Stark, I’m looking at you)

Clarity – 5, everything I read here is very clear. It’s still made up, but I could see why people believe it. 

Reality – 3, This is one of Bible story mains that many people don’t really believe, at least among those I know, which is a breath of fresh air. But try to apply the same logic anywhere else (like Jesus rising from the dead), and you’re in for a silly little ride. 

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