“642 Things to Write About” with Carnal Innocence

I have a mind for a super great post that opinionated persons should read. I’m not talking to anyone in particular (though the post will reference everyone)

Anywho, first things first. Two prompts tonight because some people were too lazy to catch up. *cough*

Prompt #10: Write a scene where the only spoken dialogue is “Uh-huh,” “Umm,” “Urrrr,” “Mm-mmm”.

My response:

Something in Zacharia was dying slowly and painfully. It was probably innocence. This was probably what if felt like when John Nash realized she never aged. Or when her brother realized why Marceline liked to hang out with the Ice King. Or Mr. Reach PR Associate got told off by Gordon Godfrey.

Well, those were more like delusions- actually that fit just as well! Zacharia was under some delusions about the people in her life. More specifically, she was under a bed. Even more specifically, the people were her parents, and the bed was theirs as well.

And they were on top. Doing their thing. The thing that made babies.

Zacharia, as regular as most (though she was particularly apt at math), did as others did when coming across how she came from her mother’s loins with help from her father’s loins. She zapped that baby light years from her immediate consciousness.

But she hadn’t quite the firepower to get rid of the incessant attack that was bumping against her head. Couldn’t they feel it?

“Uh-huh!”

Zacharia wasn’t sure if that was her mother or father, and she honestly didn’t want to figure it out, imagine their voices a bit louder, their disgusting grimaces of pleasure. Her stomach threatened to roll up and out of her mouth. All she had needed was a couple bills to make it through the mall with her friends, and she just would have taken a couple, seriously, while her parents went to visit some friend, but of course those friends had an emergency, and of course her mother and father went straight to their room, and of course Zacharia heard it only at the last minute! Now, she was faced with lying in a puddle of her own puke.

“Mm-mmm!”

That was definitely her dad. He did that clearing throat thing all the time though no one was ever sure why. It wasn’t like he was constantly breathing in thick particles of anything. Zacharia couldn’t quite believe that her mom let him do that while having sex.

And now Zacharia thought it! She was dead, utterly dead.

“Urrr,” she moaned, though in the back of her mind she felt that she shouldn’t be feeling this sick. Sure, it was pretty awful, the whole situation, but there were worse things. Then she realized that the bumping on her head was making her nauseous, and her parents were only moving… More quickly! Not the other word. Zacharia had watched too many movies to bring that word and bed-shaking together. It was bad enough she already said the s-word.

Soon, they were speeding in such a way that Zacharia was sure they were nearing the finish line. Unfortunately, her stomach was getting real tired of this whole mess and was watering her throat to prepare its contents for ejection.

Then it was as if the stomach was waiting for that perfect time, which was the end for the wretchedness above. Zacharia shoved her head down as low as it could go, but someone was moving so hard, the bed still reached her.

Finally, either parent stopped for obvious reasons, and Zacharia let loose under the bed, making the usual puking sounds. Since her parents were bound to hear that, she revealed herself from cover so as to escape the half-digested sandwich she had for lunch.

Her parents had twin looks of absolute astonishment. And they were both all naked and sweaty and messy and joined. Zacaria could only say, “Ummm…” and hoped, as she ran out the door and to a nearby friend’s house, the word covered that she’ll clean up the barf later.

Sister’s response: 

A play by [Sister’s name]

Cavemen talk

Scene 1:

Caveman 1: Urrrr (points to rock).

Caveman 2: Mm-mmm

C1: Umm, Urrr (reaches for rock.)

C2: Mm-mmm, umm? (confused.)

C1: (throws rock, lands near other rocks)

C2: Uh-huh ( reaches for other rock and throws)

Fin.

Prompt #11: Tell a complete stranger about a beloved family tradition.

My response:

Don’t know about beloved…. Or tradition… But there are times when our family go out to eat, or when we had gone to church many a devastatingly early Sunday, or when we went driving with our parents around town as they paid bills and such….

No matter the time we had gone out, or how much sleep we had before doing our thing, no matter what time it was when we got back, and most of the time no matter if we had other things to do right after we did our plans, we would all go to sleep, drop like flies, fall like dominoes.

We even made a game of it among us kids. We would come home from church or the beach and see who could stay up the longest. Inevitably, we would all be snoring away wherever we were fighting it off.

Not to mention the ITIS we get from eating a large meal- not just Thanksgiving or Easter or Christmas dinner. Heck, not to mention if we got dessert with a regular dinner. Sugar keeps you up my ass, we would be dead to the world.

Sister’s response: 

Hi! Can’t wait ’till tomorrow! My family and I are going fox-hunting. We’ve been fox hunting for generations and we are not going to stop! We love foxing-hunting. This one time, I was sooo close to getting that fox but my brother shot him before I even got the chance to. Ugh, such a show-off! But anyways, people think it’s like wrong, or whatever but I don’t think so. I mean, we kill everything else right? So there’s nothing wrong with it. I mean, we’re just having fun. Oh, this other time is when we gave a fox a 30 minutes head start and the next thing I know, that fox was nowhere to be found!  Like, we searched high and low for it! We even searched in the trees and bushes. There were A LOT of trees and bushes! Hey, where you going?

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