I wanted to take this time to reply to the reviews from the end of “A Maléan Gem”. And then to explain my weird tags for this post.
|Everywhere und Nowhere||2012-09-28|
|I hate to complain or naysay, but that last chapter felt rushed. you mentioned you had written more but deemed it unneccesary. i think it may have helped. I havnt had any problems with your writing style, but there were several sections on this chapter I needed to reread in order to grasp properly, and I feel more elaboration could have been done for the parents. They were long awaited from the last chapter, and it still feels…anticlimatic to explain them.
Very much looking forward to your next piece and hope you dont misunderstand my criticism. I LOVE your stories.
Well, that looks cool. I just wanted to copy the text but this is far better. Anywho…Please complain and naysay. I love to write better. Right now, I’m in a writing class and have recently had a piece reviewed where mostly everyone had the exact same constructive criticism. Too many characters, and felt rushed- even the needing to reread and needed more elaboration. I felt the anticlimacticness as well. I was disappointed, but I didn’t want to bombard the reader… but they had been waiting for a while XD I will add more chapters to “Gem” as time goes on. Epilogues out the ears they will be.
I feel this may be a problem for “Cages”. I have a lot of characters; I wonder if I can count on you for when things feel too slow or too fast? :p
|I loved this story so much!
Sorry for not reviewing those other few chapters. I just didn’t know that you updated the story.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! :D Don’t worry about it. You were one of the few who consistently reviewed, even if it was the same phrase or same type or whatever. You knew what it meant to me and you decided to help me feel it nearly every time I posted a chapter. Thank you. I have your email, and I’ve been emailing… Is the trunks thing still your email?
Thanks to all who reviewed “Gem”: ILoveWyatt (YAY!), Everywhere und Nowhere, nivell (alot), sunni, myrt(alot), Sunao Tsuji (some?), sierra, Silver (maybe!), kylee (alot), emz, Mick, Mina, DoeEyedSamurai, tj, Plume angelique, MoonChakra, Mikki Senpai (:DDDD), Aromanight, Roseykins (alot), BijouDuMon, mizuki, Funeral Roses, Vivi, Melsa, anxiouslyawaitingupdate, MustLove_PrettyBoys, James, Anon(s), bunnicle, blueskies, kissedbymidnight (alot), js (tj?), lividfire, Mahou Makai, and sardo.
So, around 36 people made their feelings known. Thank you so much; it’s really picked me up over the time of writing Gem. With you guys’ help there are 113 reviews and 16,555 hits so far. Thank you, thank you.
Malé is about hermaphrodites with, and this is largely generalized (like when we say the human race is selfish when there is a large range of selfishness among the 7 billion plus humans on Earth), what Earthlings mostly identify as male. That’s why I call it mpreg and put slash, gay, and malexmale.
But this has been bothering me. Calling these hermaphrodites ‘he’ and ‘him’ and having ‘his’ things. It’s not like a planet doesn’t need females or something. There are actually characters that I had to constantly correct from calling them ‘she’ and giving ‘her’ ‘her’ right pronoun- Ashelee and Omni, for example. Because hermaphrodites, from what I read and heard from hermaphrodites that identify themselves as such- It’s not just being neither or both staple genders, or, sometimes, it’s absolutely not being neither or both, it’s being something completely different, a completely different gender, and I’m more on line with that.
But the fact that they have penises make people call them ‘he’, when in fact only ‘she’ can give birth, and they can do that too. Every last one of them. But I tried writing a story using only gender neutral words or pronouns that envision both sexes (which, as I said before, is sometimes an absolute no-no). For the latter, the problem above arose. Gender neutral mode made for weird sex scenes and not very good first-person, so I opted for just using ‘he’, which leads me to put malexmale, gay, yaoi, slash, and mPreg- though they are hermaphrodites.
Obviously, we have been equipped to being stuck to social norms of giving mostly everyone a specific gender out of two. It kind of sucks for those who feel in between either physically or mentally. Mentally, for myself, though my high libido and hairiness might be proving the other as well. I’m not saying I’m undecided or anything, but I am saying that I have desires and physical features that most people identify with males. I’m pansexual to a painful degree, so as that I have so many options for people that I can’t choose just one, or I can’t find anyone who is willing to share, lol.
A friend of mine, who really likes (not consciously, of course) to categorize gender, especially of the male kind, says, what’s wrong with a girl liking guy things or being more like a guy?
Well, of course, when one attributes my liking games or pornography as a male thing when I am physically completely and utterly female, or when one attributes unlikable male qualities to the definition of maleness, when a large part of me is identifying with maleness, well, it makes me feel guilty. Or when someone says I am strong like a guy? No! I’m strong like a girl! I am a female, that’s as strong as I will ever be.
And so when I attribute male emotions or physicality to these hermaphrodites, I feel like I’m doing them a disservice. I do my best to be gender neutral other than addressing, but sometimes I have to be careful to not fall in the trap of categorizing them too much.
Just to let everyone know, they have wide hips and breast like female Earthlings. If it ever has an animated feature or drawings, I will add that. It’s important. And they aren’t dickgirls!
Futanari was originally for hermaphrodites in the Japanese language but has become fetishistic dickgirls. Well, you might say that futanari identifies with females and Maléans identify with males- promising argument. However, my hermaphrodites are aliens that have been categorized (by myself and any others) and we/they are largely aware of the ambiguity and complexity. Futanari girls, if you haven’t seen any hentai material, is largely a girl who finds herself with a dick without much dilemma other than really good sex. Plus, you can see how my personal problems is seeping largely into my made-up world, while futanari girls (and I have to say girls because it is hardly the other way around- mainly because guys already have both penises and anuses) are fap material- they hardly fuck guys but other futanari girls. Not the same.
Well, then, why have Maléans with breasts? Evolution, my dears. In the beginning years of human life on the planet, they needed some way to feed their young. But these people have evolved enough to get rid of breasts and just grow more quickly inside the womb. But the breasts still remain like appendixes and gall bladders.
Now, I’m off to write a real essay XD